JOY

Time to reflect upon 2012

If I have learned one lesson this year it is:

Happiness is a choice. Not a feeling, not something granted to us, not inevitable. BUT A CHOICE.

If any one person on this planet is capable of making really bad and really great choices it is me. I have traveled both paths. Let's be honest. I am the queen of mistakes. I have done some pretty whacky things in my day. I also have the most brilliant and amazing soul in my life. A very wonderful choice I made years ago. I choose to accept and be most grateful for the things that have molded me.

Life comes to us in such a fury that perhaps sometimes we don't even have the split second to make the right choice.....or the wrong. Instinct kicks in and we do the very best we can. Right or wrong. We reach back into the depths of an unknown place and make the decision we feel best. Right or wrong.

We choose to:

Love when love is gone.

Hug our babies tight after a tragedy.

Get married on a whim. Listen to the whisper of a heartbeat soon after.

Defy the Mayans.

Rally around our families.

Beat all odds.

Let our titles go.

Be in an amazing movie.

Start a solar company with a bad name. 

Fall in love.

Get engaged.

Fall off the Fiscal Cliff.

Start again.

Be renewed.

And believe in the impossible.

Dream. Believe. Dream.

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. 

Accept. Accept. Accept.

I gladly welcome 2013. I choose JOY.

I choose joy. 

Because all you need is love. ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

Lady A

My faith in the future of this nation was restored in a matter of hours last night. I was selected to be a judge for a competition called Youth Tour. Co-ops across the country select high school juniors to attend a leadership program in Washington D.C. for a week. The kids are required to submit and application and then interviewed. We selected three winners last night and let me tell you, competition was tough!

These kids were sharp. They were bright and shiny and open to the challenges of this big ole world and I was IMPRESSED. When our first candidate left the room after his interview I said ALEX FOR PRESIDENT. He is a Polish lad and grew up on a dairy farm. Needless to say, he was one of our selections and I'll be looking for him in the Times.

But this girl, Lady A, changed my life. She began with the two things in life she is most proud of: her faith and her achievements. She set goals for herself way back in 7th grade and has stayed on track so far. She was recently promoted, at 17, to manager at the restaurant where she works. She discussed her desire to veer away from the popular crowd and parties and drinking and discovered putting God first made those decisions simple.

When asked what hard thing she has overcome in her life, she explained her parents split when she was five and tears began to well. I could feel my heart sink into the soles of my boots. Betty. Twelve years later this young spirit was still overwhelmed with sadness. Her words literally made my heart ache. As she explained, I realized her situation was much more dire than Betty's but I could not help but notice how close she was to its impact. In the end, Lady A was chosen as one of the three (of 16) contestants to attend Youth Tour in Washington D.C. Myself and the other two judges agreed. She is a leader already and has so much to offer this world. Mature, kind, responsible, outgoing, wise, and much more. And as the accolades were given, I realized what an incredible human was before me. She rose from the ashes of her situation and makes the very best of her life each and every day. She has not only endured but surpassed.

Divorce is brutal. I loathe it with all my being but there is hope. Not only for Lady A and for Betty B but for all of us who have endured, surpassed and tried once again....

PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD WILL TO MEN

Not long ago I heard someone say, "Be kind always. There is a battle waging in all of us."

Peace.

I wonder how much time I have spent wanting more. More money or more square feet or more frequent flyer miles or more options for Betty or more depth in my relationships. More. More. More.

I am not sure what has changed at 1107 but over the course of the past few weeks peace has swept through our home.

A tiny lady who walks no where, only skips and sings over every step. She sings in the tub. She sings before bed. She sings in her sleep. Her heart skips and sings and pitter pats with such joy these days.

And I truly believe I have found a very solid sense of contentment. Anything in my wonderful life besides Betty and home and family and a good meal is an extra bonus. I curled up in my jammies at 8:00 p.m. last night and read in front of a blazing fire and wanted for nothing more. I feel a peace in my heart that is indescribable. I am exactly where I am supposed to be, surrounded by the exact people who are supposed to be in my life. And with that comes such a feeling of God at work. We are blessed beyond imagination and our life is incredibly simple. There is a skip in my step and I noticed myself whistling while grocery shopping at lunch.

Peace. Happiness. Faith. Joy.

“Peace is the number one beautiful ornament you can wear, I really believe that. They say you should always wear a smile, but I don't believe that you should "always" wear a smile, seriously, you're going to look stupid! But peace, you should always carry peace within you, its the most beautifying thing you could ever have or do. Peace makes your heart beautiful and it makes you look beautiful, too. You want to have perfect physical posture when you stand, sit, and walk, and peace is the perfect posture of the soul, really. Try perfect posture outside as well as inside. Peace creates grace and grace gives peace.

Peace is not a result inside us from everything around us. Peace is not submissive nor passive. On the contrary, peace is an overwhelming force which comes from within us, disrespectful of everything around us, a firm coalition of spirit and soul standing against all the unrest that abounds.”


― C. JoyBell C.

MY HEART AND SOUL

The best way to a person's heart is through their tummy tum tum.

AND.SOMETIMES.IT.IS.A.HOMERUN.


If you know me at all, one single bit, you know these things about me. I AM:

BETTY
FAMILY
FOOD
WINE
FAMILY
WINE
BETTY
BETTY
FAMILY
MUSIC

So you get it. We are foodies. We are family. We are wine. AND WE ARE LOVE.

Today I walked into Poppy's house to multiple boxes and packaging and meat from not only the Salt Lick in Austin but LOBELS (hungarian butcher shop in Manhattan) AHEM.

Someone who gets how much food means to this family: tasting, smelling, enjoying, bonding, burning and tasting again, topped with a good bottle of wine.

Sent me the ultimate gift (other than his chickens): veal chops, habanero smoked turkey, salts, peppercorns, TRUFFLE BUTTER, LAWD IT JUST DOESN'T END.

Who I am to the core is everything listed above. Food brings us together, cooking brings us together, wine brings us together (more than we wish sometimes), and MAN.I.AM.THANKFUL.

CAPTAIN RICKY

Well, after one month at the new gig I have picked my favorite co-worker and he took the prize with flying colors. And trust me, everyone I work with is uber nice and lovely. But Ricky? Oh Ricky.

The first time I met him I thought his look seemed distant and glazed. Deer in the headlights came to mind. He's certainly young....20 maybe. Doubtful. Probably 18. I spoke to him and if he responded it was very quiet and muffled. Slow, I thought or very very shy. One month later? FIRECRACKER. For now, my office is in the back of the building where the shop is, so I get to see all of the guys come and go. This is also where Ricky works or rocks as I like to say.

Things I like about R Dogg:

Not sometimes, but EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes down the stairs, he slides on the rail. His hair is longish and it sort of catches in his fast flight. I have yet to see him walk down the steps unless his hands are full. He also stumbles at the end of the stairs sometimes when he lands which is super cute. We're not talking a step, people. He catches some serious air.

He works with the radio on full blast. No headphones and no shame. He cranks it up and I can hear him singing over all other noise in the shop through my office window.

He says funny stuff. For example, he just walked by my office and said, "Hey, watch out for carpal tunnel." I type a lot and he's dang right. THANKS RICKY!

He shocked the shit out of me. These are the people I like the most in this world. Peel an onion, there's lots of layers. Totally not conforming to what the world thinks, reminding people like me to never judge a book by its cover. Lessons. Simple lessons that happiness comes in so many capacities. Ricky is EXCITED and GRATEFUL to be in the shop singing and sawing and flitting about. My next lesson? Stair rail please.

If you wanna be free.......be free.

BE HERE NOW

Alarm.
Coffee.
Yogurt.
Biscuit.
Eggs.
Apple juice.
Vitamin.
Feed those damn chickens who have yet to lay one single egg.
Shower.
Pack lunch.
Pick out two outfits.
Shoes.
Brush teeth.
Roll hair.
Different shoes.
Wave goodbye.
Drive.
Work.
Work.
Work.
Grocery store.
Work.
Work.
Work.
Drive.
Homework.
Feed those damn chickens who think it's funny to sneak in the house and jump on the refrigerator.
Cook dinner.
Bath.
Roll hair.
Books.
Tickle back.
Say prayer.
Night light.
Glass of water.
Dishes.
Bed.

Alarm...........

I cannot begin to explain how much kindergarten has changed our lives. We were somewhat regimented before, but this, along with my new job, has created a VERY STRICT ROUTINE. I live for the weekends these days when I am not constantly in a time crunch and bossing my little around 24/7. I will admit it's been stressful. I am a freebird and although we have flourished this certainly isn't who I am at the core. My friend Kader told me I could move to Africa and Betty could be a village child. I considered it. I have scaled back on traveling and eating out and even NO WINE DURING THE WEEK. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?. And with all of it, a new perspective. The importance of the little things has never been more clear. As I type this, I am honestly giddy about a fire, posole and a big fat glass of wine. Thinking about staying up until 10:00 p.m. and sleeping until 8:30 a.m. is almost too much glory to bear. I.AM.A.WILD.WOMAN.

And then, there's this.......a tiny voice in the middle of the night that whispers, "Momma can I snuggle close to you? I had a bad dream." and she puts her little face right in my neck and I feel as if my heart is going to burst. And when I drop her off at school, she stops dead in her tracks and blows me kisses which I return. One of the teachers sees the exchange, looks at me with the biggest smile and puts her hand on her heart.

Whatever I have done, wherever I have gone, THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. Happy Friday!!! Cheers to the ladies!

TRICK OR GOLDFISH!

I cannot possibly imagine where she gets these crazy Halloween ideas from.........

Halloween on Barkley Street is a big deal and I mean BIG. Tons of pumpkins, dressing up, passing out ridiculous treats (mostly living breathing goldfish this year), scaring small children. You know. HALLOWEEN!

So along with the Avatar, we had a:

Scary monster mummy person.

 

Who compared to the Wolf last year was an EPIC FAIL in the scary department. 

And a:

You guessed it! Pissed off Japanese Minnow Farmer. 

We consumed these shots at a bar in College Station after my sister dunked her Aggie ring. Deathly but such a great great costume idea!!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM THE KOOKS ON BARKLEY STREET.

NO FAIRY PRINCESSES HERE THIS YEAR

Firstly, I HAVE GOT TO STOP LISTENING TO MUMFORD&SONS RADIO on Pandora. Songs I have not heard in FOREVER that literally take the air out of my lungs. GASP. TURN IT OFF!!SHEESH.

Moving on, speaking of GASP. Look at this little girl. Because what 5 year old doesn't want to be an Avatar for Halloween? Quite frankly, I wasn't real hopped up on the idea that she had even seen the movie. It's rated PG-13 so last year when she asked I said no way jose. But she pleaded again this year. I caved and started researching just what the heck an avatar looks like. Blue. Mainly blueish. Let me tell you, other than a constant wedgie (her legs grew 6 inches from the time I ordered to delivery), she was FRACKIN' precious.

And those eyes? Those piercing blue soulful eyes? GASP.......................

HOOK EM AND GIG EM AND BLOW SAND BLOW

One of my biggest pet peeves of all time is: BANDWAGON FANS. Spearman (and just about every where else) is filled with hundreds of DIE HARD college football fans and I think it's safe to say a good percentage were NOT alumni at the University of Texas or any accredited university for that matter.

I love love this time of year and I especially love a fall fire, a mimosa and a good college football game. I have never, in the past, had a favorite team. I always cheered for Texas teams or whoever I had picked in some random pot or maybe my favorite in a small wager (ahem). When Mattie dunked her ring I was the biggest Aggie fan and bled maroon that day. WHOOP! Truthfully, I don't think it's fair. I think your blood, sweat and tears throughout those four years earns you the RIGHT to cheer for a certain team.

But guess what? Times they are a changin'. Betty and I received some dang cool Longhorn gear in the mail. Orange studded Longhorn necklace? Check. Fringed burnt orange tank? Check. Softest gray UT hoodie? Check. And it donned on me.....all of this goodness came from a Poke. Probably THE biggest UT fan I know is a Poke. So I didn't graduate from UT and I don't REALLY BLEED burnt orange or maroon or fuschia (well maybe fuschia). The point is CHEER and CHEER LOUDLY for whoever the heck you want!!!! Especially and I mean especially if you look real cute while doing it.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK 'EM HORNS!

IT IS NEVER BROKEN

I typically don't remember my dreams and if I do, they are incredibly vague and seem unimportant but last night I had the most intense dream. I don't usually find other people's dreams interesting or funny or scary so I will spare you the details. Just a very soul bearing, vivid dream that has lingered with me all day and spurred some deep thinking.....

For such a long time I believed there is only one person in this whole earth meant for you. A soul mate. The One. Only one and God would lead you to that person and you would spend the rest of your life happily ever after with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. Then I became jaded and probably didn't really believe in much except that God would still bring the right person into my life. I certainly lost sight of the whole soul mate plan and then one day I turned a corner. Embracing the thoughts and feelings of being tethered to a person with an unbreakable immovable string.

I sent this text to BFF today: Weird question. If you were cremated who would you give your ashes to at this moment? She, of course, answered with family but also responded with the love in her life as a 'romantic choice'. It posed so many questions for me. Let's take family out of the equation and just say if you were cremated (or whatever your choice will be) today who would you leave your ashes with? Would all married people respond with their spouses? All girlfriends with their boyfriends? Lovers with their lovers? Or does such a decision as this surpass those borders?

I know this seems like a bizarre string of thoughts but I have a point. I think we all have that one person, perhaps not a soul mate and maybe not even a spouse, but someone we have loved more than anyone else in this world. I pray that for most people it is someone they are married to or share children with but I also believe you can be so connected to someone you may never see again. That maybe that 'one' person was introduced into your life to be a mirror. To peel back another layer. To allow you to look at yourself and see the true you, the things that were holding you back, and a new polished view of your own soul. Maybe you didn't marry them or divorce them or even know them that long but somehow they rocked your core. Maybe someone that brought you to attention and changed your life and will forever be a part of you. As I type this, so many people come to mind. Of course Betty, first and foremost, but I also bounce back to people I am not biologically connected to. I woke up in the middle of the night and contemplated this blog being sad to some. 'She doesn't even know where she will spread her ashes'. It is not sad in the least to me. I have experienced SO MUCH LOVE in my life in SO MANY different capacities. Through my child, my family, friends, and soul mates. I have been blessed and touched and changed. At 32, I have more love in my heart than I could possibly imagine. And so, maybe that is the answer.

They will all spread my ashes round the yard.


Everything is connected, like a delicate web. Ever growing, ever changing. New silvery strands come together every day, and once the strand is formed, no matter what superficial circumstances may sometimes keep you apart, it is never broken. You will meet again, perhaps in another lifetime. The connection is unbreakable, lying dormant in your subconscious.”
― Chelsie Shakespeare, The Pull

WALK TOWARDS THE ART

What is in store for this weekend? Pure goodness, I tell you. A few months ago, I attended an art show with my mom and a very savvy lady, VL, in Canadian. We all live on the same wonderful tree covered street and decided it was time to pump up the arts. Soooooo this weekend will be the Art Alliance of Hansford County First Annual Art Walk to benefit the art students of Hansford County.

A crisp fall evening such as this one with pinion and laughter wafting through the air. We have some pretty amazing artists coming out including my dear friend Kader. As I looked back through pics of his previous art shows it donned on me that we have been friends for about 10 years now. Me in Spearman. He in Santa Fe, Paris, Africa and wherever else. We don't talk often and quite frankly barely speak the same language. He speaks like 6 in fact but we don't miss a beat when we are together. As always, this community has rallied around this event to make it totally worth my obsessive list making (sorry mom and VL) and I know in my heart we are doing a good thing. Perhaps our first year won't bring thousands of dollars in scholarships but a nice stroll under fall leaves, some amazing art and a robust glass of red wine ain't too shabby, no? Cheers to what is already an amazing success. And thank you to two of the most inspiring, hip, lovely women I know. I am honored to be a part of this event.

UNANSWERED PRAYERS

I cannot tell you how close we were to moving. I know I emailed at least 10 resumes to places such as Austin, Dallas, Amarillo. Crickets. Rejection after rejection and finally TIME RAN OUT! It was time for Betty to start school and that meant Gus Birdwell Elementary. In the midst of this, I continued to tell my mother God's plan will present itself. To which she responded, what if it already has? What if you are living his plan?

Last Saturday mom and I crept to the edge of town for a Lynx's homecoming. Badly burned in a bon fire, Cameron Wolf was coming home from the burn center in Lubbock. We sat and waited and shared a smidge of wine. Firetrucks, ambulance, and Spearman citizens lined the highway with signs showing support and love for a fighter and a survivor. And then he was home, surrounded by the entire community who rallied for him like I've never seen before. Tonight we will all gather wearing his #11 Wolf t-shirt before the game to once again show our town's support.

Wednesday Poppy walked Betty to the church for her weekly after school program and there was a small mix up. No after school program. However, Poppy sure of her safe arrival walked home. A few minutes later the doorbell rang and there stood Betty. "No one was there so I just walked home." The incident left Poppy and I a bit uneasy. What if? What if she got lost? What if she was nabbed? Except this is Spearman and those what-ifs are almost impossible.....certainly unlikely. She walked three blocks home alone as safe as can be. Truthfully, she might have stopped at someone's house for cookies and milk. We didn't ask her.

I was so very close to giving this up. To making a selfish choice. What is better for ME? There are no restaurants for ME to enjoy with friends on the weekends. There are no friends on the weekends. Where can I go for a glass of wine on a Friday night? I. I. I. ME. ME. ME.

And the truth is. The cold hard truth is I am a country mouse. I am exactly where I need to be and more importantly, it does not get any better than this for a 5 year old socialite. I realize things change and life can throw you curve balls but for now I am going to bask in the happiness and security population 3,300 can bring you if you just open it's doors.

LET'S BE RURAL!

People, it is quite possible I have found my dream job (I know, I say this about every job) FOR REAL. Let me sum it up in a few little lines. I am now an employee of a COOPERATIVE aka a CO-OP (not to be confused with a chicken COOP). 

What does this mean you ask? 

1st Principle: Voluntary and Open Membership

Cooperatives are voluntary organizations, open to all persons able to use their services and willing to accept the responsibilities of membership, without gender, social, racial, political or religious discrimination.

2nd Principle: Democratic Member Control

Cooperatives are democratic organizations controlled by their members, who actively participate in setting their policies and making decisions. Men and women serving as elected representatives are accountable to the membership. In primary cooperatives members have equal voting rights (one member, one vote) and co-operatives at other levels are also organized in a democratic manner.

3rd Principle: Member Economic Participation

Members contribute equitably to, and democratically control, the capital of their cooperative. At least part of that capital is usually the common property of the cooperative. Members usually receive limited compensation, if any, on capital subscribed as a condition of membership. Members allocate surpluses for any or all of the following purposes: developing their cooperative, possibly by setting up reserves, part of which at least would be indivisible; benefiting members in proportion to their transactions with the cooperative; and supporting other activities approved by the membership.

4th Principle: Autonomy and Independence

Cooperatives are autonomous, self-help organizations controlled by their members. If they enter to agreements with other organizations, including governments, or raise capital from external sources, they do so on terms that ensure democratic control by their members and maintain their cooperative autonomy.

5th Principle: Education, Training and Information

Cooperatives provide education and training for their members, elected representatives, managers, and employees so they can contribute effectively to the development of their cooperatives. They inform the public - particularly young people and opinion leaders - about the nature and benefits of cooperation.

6th Principle: Cooperation among Cooperatives

Cooperatives serve their members most effectively and strengthen the cooperative movement by working together through local, national, regional and international structures.

7th Principle: Concern for Community

Cooperatives work for the sustainable development of their communities through policies approved by their members.

UM, HELLO. DOES IT GET ANY MORE HIPPY THAN THAT??? Because hippies love to cooperate. Oh yes it does. It gets this hippy.......

A small taste of CO-OPS in the USA:

Ace Hardware

Black Star Co-op (a brewpub located in Austin, TX)

Blue Diamond Growers (almonds)

Land O'Lakes (I actually buy this butter from The Lowes)

Welch's

Piggly Wiggly

The New Deal Cafe (coffee house in Greenbelt, Maryland) 

Just to name a few.........

Goodness gracious. It begins.

SHE'S STILL HERE

THE BARNYARD BEGINS

I don't even know where to begin or how I can possibly capture perhaps one of the most hilarious evenings of my life.

Remember me? The girl wanting fresh eggs and chickens and all that noise? Well, guess what? Be careful what you wish for. It might come true.

At approximately 7:00 p.m. last night, our doorbell rings. I assumed it was someone selling cookie dough or candles or raffle tickets (it's that time of year) but oh no. Who stands at my door? A darling boy and his mom with, lo and behold, three chickens. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

A white hen who is now named Hatch. A red hen who is no named Chili and an unknown grey who is still IT.  Prolific egg layers I tell you.

As I type this blog I see two neighbor cats about to pounce in the backyard. I just this second sprinted faster than I have since high school and almost kicked a cat. GET OUT OF HERE I SHOUTED. Goodness gracious. Chickens? Yes. I have found a place in my heart for some gosh dang chickens.

Mostly because they came from a dear friend who spent A LOT of time....sheesh I'm out of breath.....researching and finding the perfect chickens for the Calvert girls. There is also a coop being commissioned as we speak from said darling boy and all of this was made possible by dear friend.
I would like to add, however, that he was very set on me getting a dawn announcing rooster which did not happen. Whew.

Yeah, I'm not even close to conveying how funny all of this was but I will tell you Chili Chicken went missing today and I almost called the police. I also patrolled the streets and asked both mail carriers if they had seen 'a red chicken'. When I returned home Hatch had escaped and I had to shoo her in through the house and she somehow managed to jump on the bed. Watch a white chicken cackle and fluff her feathers on your bed. Trust me. You'll laugh your ask off.

All I know is this: at this rate the chances of them being settled enough to lay the COVETED FRESHEST EGGS EVER is pretty much slim to none.

A shout out to Tyler Stedje!!! The best chicken farmer this side of the Mississippi AND to someone who appreciates the Damn Dirty Hippy side of this girl! Possibly my all time favorite gift. Fresh eggs for life as long as I can run fast enough to catch the cats.

HEYHOOOOOOOOO

PLANE SEATS VS. PATIO FURNITURE

Normally at about this time every year I would be packing up, printing boarding passes and leaving on a jet plane. Wine country, Santa Fe Wine and Chile Fiesta, you name it. Birthday Trip has been one of my favorite times of year. The getaway.

Not this year. Tonight I sat out by my parents' pool and watched Betty 'babysit' sweet Mary Beth. I enjoyed conversation with of some of my most favorite people. A few hours together enjoying a bit of wine on a cool fall evening. My blonde headed love and a gurgling baby and some old old souls. Simple.

There is such goodness here and a very big part of that is the people I surround myself with. Not only my family but the Vennemans and the Giffords. Inspiring, loyal, family oriented, angels that truly inspire me and embrace the Calvert Ladies. I adore them. ADORE. Salt of the earth, kind and genuine.

Nope. I wouldn't trade it for one second. My little wine trip three blocks down the street was a fantastic birthday eve. We are blessed.

CHEERS TO 32!!!

SPECIAL THANKS

I am blessed enough to have a woman in my life who will ALWAYS ALWAYS surpass my realm of comprehension. Not only is she strong, amazing and incredibly savvy, she is the most spiritual God fearing person I know besides my mother. She is truly an inspiration.

God put me in her life for a reason and it becomes more and more apparent with each turn of the page.

I have often contemplated writing a children's book but never taken the steps nor the time to pour my heart into it. My best friend shared her final copy with me last night which I have read 18 times today. Tears and so much gratitude for the gift of endurance and overcoming and conquering this thing called life.

And in the last pages under Special Thanks my name appears. A special thanks to Grace Calvert. She did this out of kindness and appreciation for my support. What she didn't know is that it would teach me one of the most important lessons of my life. I am that person. I hope that for the rest of my life I am SPECIAL THANKS. Through the tragedy, through the good and the bad, through the heartache and pain, and through the happy times. I was there. I was part of this story because I could somehow be insightful and understanding. A tiny light that guided her. If one hug, one kind word, one pat on the back, led to her glory I AM FOREVER HAPPY.

To my published author who will be on Good Morning America or Ellen in no time, I will always always be your Special Thanks. I have loved nothing more than being on this journey with you in some small way.

Stay tuned friends: My Daddy is in Heaven with Jesus is about to go GLOBAL!!!!!!

SETTLE DOWN

GOD IS ALWAYS AT WORK

And then this in my study on Esther today:

Not only are you royalty but you also have been placed in your sphere of influence, regardless of the size you perceive it to be, "for such a time as this." Ecclesiastes 2:3 tells us there is "a time to be born and a time to die." God cut those perimeters for you and me on the kingdom calendar so that we would be positioned on earth right now. Likewise Acts 17:26 tells us unflinchingly that God "determined the times set for us and the exact places that we should live." You see your current location is part of the set-up for your kingdom destiny.

At some of the hardest times in my life, I have been able to make the more difficult choice out of pure blind-eyed, bent-kneed acceptance that it was somehow part of a greater plan. I was beaten by a conviction that throbbed relentlessly against my strong self-centeredness. As much as my flesh wanted relief, I knew that when all was said and done, I'd sit on that side of glory having much rather fulfilled my calling than served myself all the way to the meaningless. I had to accept that I was not called to an easy life. I was called to a purposeful life. Beloved, in the times of greatest struggle when you make the Godward decision over convenience, earthly comfort, or carnal pleasure, you too have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny. A defining moment. A war is being waged over your head in the unseen realm, and a great cloud of witnesses is cheering you on. You have no idea what's at stake.-Beth Moore

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS

This entry began weeks ago when I saw a very old friend checking out at The Lowes and man did she look beautiful! I must say the class of '99 has aged quite well. As I drove home I thought about her life and that it is pretty magnificent and if anyone deserves it, it's her. Good things happen to good people. She lives on the East Coast, is married to a pilot, has a beautiful daughter, etc. etc. And I thought HOW IN THE H.E.DOUBLE.HOCKEY.STICKS. DID I END UP HERE? Spearman, TX USA? How after living all over the country am I back in this teeny tiny village.

Fast forward a few weeks later. Within that time I have gone through an ENORMOUS amount of self-realization.

And then a very loooooong conversation with my bestest Mattie Been regarding contentment and peace and high expectations not always achieved. As I reflect on my life, I realize how much I change my mind. When I asked Mrs. Been if I am flakey she responded with, "Not flakey. Fickle." To which I replied HOW DO YOU FIX FICKLE. I'm afraid you don't. She and I both agree that we have set some pretty high standards for ourselves perhaps losing the importance of the little things and those that really truly matter. Big salaries and large homes. Long vacations and 'movin' on up'. I am surrounded by a group of incredibly talented and successful friends. But I have begun to redefine my definition of success. Accomplishments come in all shapes and sizes. I have spurred change right here in my own horizons and perhaps they are small but they are significant nonetheless. What does God consider an accomplishment? That is the true question and I believe providing for your daughter surely falls into this category.

As fall has moved into this amazing little village and I have been completely busy with lunch packing and art walk, the bears in my heart have silenced. I do not feel myself searching for bigger and better and farther away. I feel extreme peace and contentment as I drop my little bundle off at Gus Birdwell Elementary on a brisk Monday morning. I pray this new peace sticks around for as long as possible and I remind myself each day of the blessings I have here. I am so fortunate to be so close to my family and to be able to walk each afternoon to pick my child up from school. A couple of days ago we saw the brother of Betty's friend walking across the crosswalk. Betty rolled down her window and shouted, HEY JACK. Jack turned around, gave his biggest smile and wave and squealed Bettttttty! My heart sang. It's the little things people. It's truly truly the little things.

GANGSTA GANGSTA

MY KIND OF MILK

BAAAWWWWWK BOOOOOCK SQUAWK

I think I just about have all of my bases covered except for the damn dirty chicken. Basically, I can get everything fresh from the farmers' market ie veggies, beef, eggs, etc. The Lowes even has a few organic things and so, for the most part, I am feeding the wee one some pretty good love. But she loves chicken. Not the real stuff of course. The salty, greasy, mixed part stuff from God knows where. So yesterday I decided I would break down and buy some organic chicken. Little did I know I would have to sell my kidney on the black market to be able to afford it. Organic chicken? Homemade soap? Dirty farm fresh eggs? All natural sponges (I draw the line here)? What the heck has happened to me. I think I have been conscientious of our diets since I read Eating Animals, thanks a million Johnathan Safran Foer. But since school has started, I have gone over the deep end. Freezing okra, squash, peaches and tomatoes was just the start of it. There are three river fresh trout in my fridge as we speak. Lawd. Anyone who would pay over $20 for a dead chicken has lost their dang mind right? Right.

I don't know exactly what it is except that I FEEL GOOD. It makes me feel happy when I know I am feeding her the best I can get my hands on. Is it perfect? No. Does it really make a difference? Not sure (ask me in 5 years and if she hasn't entered hormone fed poultry induced puberty, I will say yes).  Sounds neurotic? Perhaps but maybe, just maybe, it is ok to get back to the basics. It is ok to expect more out of a meal than to just be full. I feel so fortunate to even have these options but the truth is, other than the darn bird, it's cost comparative. I won't get into statistics and the physical state of our nation or how tiny chickens used to be before they were pumped full of crap but I will say it can't hurt to buy as fresh as you can right. Right?

Oh and for the record, I put pink sponge rollers in her hair last night and this morning I hid a tiny toy Indian in her lunchbox. Good grief, I am my mother's child.......

PAUSE

Look at us running around, always rushed, always late. Guess that's why they call it the human race.

But sometimes it slows down just enough for all the pieces to fall into place. Fate works its magic and......

You're connected.

Every once in a while, amid all the randomness, something unexpected happens and it pushes us all forward.

And the truth is, what I'm starting to think, what I'm starting to feel is that maybe the human race isn't a race at all. -The Switch

EMMYLOU

CRAZY BRAVE

EAST

East is the direction of beginnings. It is sunrise. When beloved Sun rises, it is an entrance, a door to fresh knowledge. Breathe the light in. Call upon the assistance you need for the day. Give thanks. East is how the plants, animals and other beings orient themselves for beginnings, to open and blossom. The spirit of the day emerges from the sunrise point. East is also the direction of Oklahoma, where I was born, the direction of the Creek Nation. 

NORTH

North is the direction where the difficult teachers live. This is the direction of cold winds. The color is white, sharp and bare. It is the direction marked by the full moon showing the way through the snow. It is prophecy.

WEST

West is the direction of endings. It is the doorway to the ancestors, the direction of tests. It represents leaving and being left and learning to find the road in the darkness. 

SOUTH

South is the direction of release. Birds migrate south for winter. It is flowers and food growing. It is fire and creativity. It is the tails of two snakes making a spiral looping over and over, an eternal transformation. 

- Joy Harjo

SHE IS FIVE AND SHE IS FIERCE

Since I am a Libra I will look at this accomplishment with the scales in mind. FIVE YEARS. I'm pretty sure I went from dirty Golden Light Dancing Feet and not being able to keep a cactus alive to being the mom of one pretty amazing FIVE year old.

The good:

I.N.D.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.

Bright, man is she bright.

Kind. Sweet. Loving.

Beautiful. Although, I stare into those piercing blue Calvert eyes 24/7 and see nothing but Calvert (hard to do if you know what I mean. Wink. Wink.) She is beautiful on the inside. She is beautiful like all of the Calverts I know.

Hi-larious. Funny beyond my comprehension (another dad trait). I don't really have a great sense of humor. She does. She laughs at herself most importantly.

A leader.

Strong.

Willful.

Compassionate.

The bad:

I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.

Sassy, man is she SASSSSSSSSSSSSY.

Hard headed. This is another way of saying all of the above but Betty Calvert will argue with a fence post or the sacker at Lowes about paper or plastic.  Not sure where she gets this from. We are working on it or not.

The ugly:

A smidge boy crazy. Too early for this RIGHT? YES IT IS. But she is and it terrifies me. She has been talking about one of Cody Mac's groomsmen since the wedding and I want to cry.

All girl. All pink. All nails and tutus and glitter and hair and ALL FRAKIN' GIRL. I know nothing of this.

Advanced. She's just old beyond her years and that also terrifies me. She is 5 going on 20 which is what my mother (and other people) have always said about me. We have a tough road ahead....blessed and TOUGH.

All in all, man oh man, what a gift I have been given. This list is truly ALL good except for the boy crazy part and I thank God every other second for her.

She is me.....only better....

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST AMAZING FUTURE PRESIDENT AND SMALL TOWN LOVELY LADY!

After I tucked my sweet girl in I decided to sit outside and soak in the almost full moon (tomorrow).  And in all of my deep thought I came up with this:

Marry who you want to marry. Eat what you want to eat. Do I think God loves gay people and chicken? Absolutely.

Michael Phelps is not paying the taxes on all of those medals.

July is my least favorite month.

You should never have to chase want you want.

Use the gifts God gave you. So you can't paint or sing or play the piano? Write a kind thank you note.

I change my mind 1,000 times a day. I have changed my plan once. God changed the rest.

Living in a wet county CHANGES your life.

Home grown, hormone free steaks make your heart happy. Create meals that make you proud to serve.

You will never love anything as much as your mother loves you unless you are a mother.

Speedos are fantastic on divers versus Greek men at the beach.

Michael Phelps is still smoking pot. 

My sister is the best best best best best best friend a girl could ever ask for.

Don't spank Betty. Take bedtime books away.

Have faith in the impossible. Have faith always.

LL.

POPPY+BETTY=LOVE

As I crept onto this scene I could hear my mom whistling like a cardinal which she does often. She is Red Bird afterall.

The evening before this picture we sat on her front porch and chatted while Betty Beatrice rolled around in the freshly mowed grass. My mom asked me what I remembered most about Betty Jean as my grandmother and comforting things automatically came to mind....pies, aprons, washing dishes, kind words and open arms. My mom remembered her Granny Bea as clean sheets and church hymns. Poppy said she wants Betty to always think of her comfort and softness but to feel the fun hip side of her.

Rarely a day goes by without Betty seeing Poppy and I am so incredibly greatful for that. She teaches Betty bird calls and flower names. She shows her how to bake bread and the importance of bees and their hives. She makes her sprinkle holy water and hug the dying trees at 822. Poppy is not only earthy, she is soulful. Betty spends afternoons in her chapel reading about saints, learning hymns or Bible verses or lighting prayer candles. They sing together, they laugh together and most importantly they love together. If Poppy has taught Betty one lesson, it is to LOVE ALL THINGS. Love yourself. Love your God. Love your mother. Love your father. Love nature. LOVE.

I don't think a mother could ask for a better Poppy. When I lack patience or feel overwhelmed she is always there to step in with an abundance of imagination and love. I always think of relationships as a well. In friendship, spirituality, love, motherhood, you cannot let your well run dry. It has to be replenished and restored so that you can let your well flow into other's lives. As a mother, it can be so hard to keep your well from running dry. I think that is why God made grandmothers. Her well is always overflowing and ready to make her relationship with Betty better than it was the day before.

Betty is so fortunate to receive the very best of my mother (and by that I mean all the good stuff without the discipline). She is touched by her comfort, her worldliness and her spirituality. She is Red Bird afterall.

To become a grandparent is to enjoy one of the few pleasures in life for which the consequences have already been paid.  ~Robert Brault

BETTY FOR PRESIDENT

Not too long ago Betty and I were on our usual evening walk home from dinner at Poppy and B's. We passed a couple I did not recognize on a walk with their baby and Betty gave them a wave and a huge smile. They returned with HEY BETTY! HOW ARE YOU? I meekly waved still having no clue who they were. I thought my child knows more people in this town than I do.

This week I took her for an afternoon snow cone. I sent her up to the stand with a couple of bucks and she marched right back, snow cone and couple of bucks in hand. I didn't recognize the car but knew it must have been someone WE know to be so sweet. The following afternoon we went again and I decided to pay closer attention this time. The high school girl, who I have never seen in my life, opened the window and she talked to Betty as if she'd known her for years. I could see her lips moving and her head bobbling...Oh hi Betty. How are you? You look so cute today. Betty just smiled and ordered her snow cone, tried to pay and marched back to the car money in hand. I had to chuckle. Once again someone quite smitten by her who knows me as Betty's mom.

She knows not a stranger. It's a bit of a scary thing. I feel as if I have to have an extra watchful eye in some situations but in Spearman it is easy to let her be free. She rolls down the window and yells HELLLOOOOOO to people walking down the street. She runs outside to tell Dr. and Mrs. Latta she likes their outfits and do they have any daugthers. She talks to EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON. at the grocery store. She tells Verna Lee she loves her nail polish. She stands on top of her playhouse and yells over the fence. HEY LADD AND KATHY, WHEN'S YOUR POOL GONNA BE READY? She just has a way with people.

I've always said she is an old soul and has this special light about her but as she gets older it has begun to bubble over. She is spirited and capable of really connecting on some plane especially for a four year old. As my friend Elaine says, "Shakin' hands and kissin' babies."

I told my mom last night I think Betty for President 2050 t-shirts are totally in order....

CHEERS TO THE CLASS OF 2024

She told me the night before her graduation she was nervous about singing songs in front of everyone but sang she did and LOUDLY too. Her little hands were nervous as she marched out but she relaxed and sang her little heart out. Sigh. Such a precious little soul. I try not to brag too much on this magnificent little individual but let me tell you what. She does have the sweetest personality and the kindest heart. She is loving and warm and caring. She is tender and polite and thinks of others. She is a million things but kindess is certainly in the Top 5. I adore her and could not possibly be more proud. She is good. She is kind. We are blessed beyond our wildest dreams.

ANOTHER ONE TOO GOOD NOT TO STEAL FROM I HEART GALVESTON

Thursday, May 17, 2012


PUSHING THE MOWER



When you accomplish the extraordinary, every day, will you ever be....satisfied?



This question was rolled over and over again by two best friends last night, two girls who juggle and balance and run a race every single day. Girls who make dinners and pack school bags and read books 14,567 times at night to little ears...oh, and single-handedly plan town festivals and book bands and schedule media interviews and press releases.



We are subjected to these stories of Cinderellas - EFFING CINDERELLAS - and their Prince Charmings and how the only way a story ends well is when the boy gets the girl and they live happily ever after.



Prince Charming = Happy Ever After.



Always the same.



Can Happy Ever After happen for girls who are strong, strong beyond their own comprehension, busy that challenges any to-do lists imaginable, who strive and stretch and grow and stress and push mowers all by themselves and lug trashcans to the curb because, hell, who else is going to take out the trash?



We sit in the same boat, she and I, together. We wouldn't have it any other way and it happens silently, without us even realizing it.



Promises of the easy, the simple, the comfortable and the secure. And shouldn't we be JUMPING ALL OVER THAT? I mean, seriously, why would we not want to unyoke ourselves from the burdens we carry right now? (Our parents want to punch us both in the face right now.)



Maybe because those burdens are what makes us who we are.



And without those burdens and the strife, we might lose a little bit of our sense of self.



Burdens = Identity.



And we have these sets of eyes - these small people who watch us, absorb us, depend on us, live through us. And we never want to disappoint them.



We want them to know that they are capable - just like we are.



They can push the mower.



They can take out the trash.



They are empowered. And amazing and perfect and wonderful and loved.



And it doesn't take a Prince Charming to do that. Or a Cinderella.



It takes YOU. Loving you.



Oh, onions.

MY BETTY

LADYBUG RELEASE 2012

WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON

I decided to let this post sit before I actually typed anything. You know me, not impetuous AT ALL. AHEM. Let me start with this. PEOPLE, GET YOUR DAMN SHIT TOGETHER. Tuesday evening my parents and I made the trek to Canyon to see what Wild Bill had to say. Instead I could barely focus as I was too busy being judgemental. This man, WHO WAS THE 42ND PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED FRICKIN STATES OF AMERICA, was surrounded by a bunch of idiots. I'll be completely honest. In the begining I was summing up people's outward appearance. Wife beaters, cutoff shorts, and ragged flip flops. Attire I consider a stretch even at the lake. But then it became more than that. People not putting their hands on their hearts, sitting down, getting up, going out. RUDE. RUDE. RUDE. As my mother said, "This has been an incredible example of mediocrity." And I couldn't agree more. If 4 year old Betty acted like some of those 20 year old kids, I would have been appalled and most likely busted her tail. Have a little respect for a man who ran our country for two terms and has given million of hours of service to Haiti, New Orleans and Shanksville. Did I vote for him? No. Did I appreciate every word he said Tuesday night? No. Did I show respect and open my mind to his opinions? Yes. And I don't think it is too much to ask for the younger generation to do the same. Over and over in my mind....SIT UP STRAIGHT! SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT. Sheesh. I sound like a 30 year old mom. Good. I should have gone through that arena busting some tails.

PERSPECTIVE

Over the past couple of weeks I have realized sometimes it is ok to be a lesson of WHAT NOT TO DO. I have always put a ton of pressure on myself to be GREAT.GOOD.AWESOME.FINE. all of the time. But, um, unfortunately this is real life and I am FARRRRRRRRRR from perfect. Fall down. Get up. Fall down. Get up. Always changing and always learning which I am incredibly greatful for. What I am most thankful for in this whole wide world (besides Sassy Pants) is my support system. My girls. I have the most compassionate and understanding circle of women around me. I thank God for them every single day. My prayer candles burn for them. They love me for me, blemishes and all and lift me up regardless of how wrong I may be. They judge gently and are always always there with a listening ear. They have made me realize that HAPPINESS EXISTS and sometimes the best thing you can do is be at peace WITH YOURSELF. To my mother, sister, sister-in-law, Liz, Leah, Bec, LeeAnn and Candace, I am forever in debted to you. Thank you for your kindness and ability to rally around me. I am stronger, wiser and better for this world because of your presence in my life.

Peel an onion, there's lots of layers. This layer? This layer is me knowing I am going to be just fine. I am loved. All I need is right in front of me.

THE GREAT HEYTELL

Liz and I HeyTell A LOT. We also text A LOT. But this morning I was most thankful we HeyTelled. Why? Because HeyTells disappear. You can't scroll back and listen to all the dumb sh*%# you were talking about. Last night was put babies to bed and have some wine night.

Nope. No scrolling through texts today being reminded of topics such as your forehead counts 157% or Radiohead induced nightmares or it being perfectly acceptable to let your kids swim in the fountain at packed restaurants. No evidence of conversation regarding brazillian waxes or botox in your armpit or Gatsby's romantic soirees. None of that. Just two normal mommas in bed by 10:00 p.m..............

OH TO BE AN OLD SETTLER

Dear Lissie,

I just broke up with John Mayer. What sucks even more than that? In exactly one week, you will be rocking out at the Old Settlers Music Festival in Austin AND.I.WILL.NOT.BE.THERE.

Tears,
G

WHAT THE FRENCH TOAST?

Dear John,

OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

WAS THAT A BANJO I HEARD IN YOUR NEW ALBUM? THERE'S NO BANJO IN JOHN MAYER.

CALL TAYLOR. IT'S OVER.

G

THE SILVERSMITH

Some time ago, a few ladies met to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse:

"And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (Malachi 3:3).

One lady decided to visit a silversmith, and report to the others on what he said about the subject.

She went accordingly, and without telling him the reason for her visit, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver. After he had fully described it to her, she asked, "Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?"


"Oh, yes ma'am," replied the silversmith; "I must sit and watch the furnace constantly, for, if the time necessary for refining is exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."

The lady at once saw the beauty and comfort of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

God sees it necessary to put His children into the furnace; but His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.

Before she left, the lady asked one final question, "How do you know when the process is complete?"

"That's quite simple," replied the silversmith. "When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished."

HAPPY EASTER!

This Easter was a bit different for Betty and I. We spent Sunday with B's family in Gruver. I will admit I was dreading it a bit, mostly because I missed our regular Easter routine. However, I am so very glad we went and feel like it was exactly what we needed this year. B's brother recently adopted two boys from Africa, Emmanuel and Seraphin, so Betty and I met them for the first time yesterday. Can you say Amazing? Donned in their vests and Easter ties, they sat at the table wide eyed and sparkly. Precious. Both of them absolutely precious. They are still learning English but Emmanuel has YES figured out. Do you want more lasagna? YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! Do you want chocolate on your ice cream? YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Do you think Betty is pretty? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! As I sat with them, I felt so incredibly moved. I wondered about their life in the orphanage and what it would be like for them if Clay had not saved their tiny souls. They were charming and happy and had the most contagious grins.

I realize how fortunate I am. How blessed I am to have such a happy healthy little girl and that I can afford to feed and clothe her. I wondered about their mothers. How hard it must be to have no choice but to let your baby go. There are miracles around us every single second. Children saved and loved and given a second chance. Parents lucky enough to be able to raise children on their own. But most of all the miracle of a smile. Three little children, different from one another, yet the same. Smiles reminding me of how far TLC can go. How important we are in our children's lives and the difference we make in them. Kindess. It really is the key to all things isn't it?

AND SPRING COMES AGAIN

I'VE GOT THE MOVES LIKE JAGGER

A very long time ago my mother wrote me a letter and said, "You are a rolling stone. A rolling stone gathers no moss." I remember feeling very hurt at the time but realize today nothing could be more true. Indeed, I am a rolling stone. And somedays this is a very very hard thing to be. But not today. Today I am so very thankful for being a rolling stone that does gather moss. I change my mind A LOT. I love to go, go, GO!!! I love adventure and growth and reaching for the stars. Do I fall on my hine hine (courtesy of Betty)? I do but I always get right back up and give it another go. Yesterday my mom asked me how I would prevent Betty from having this MORE MORE MORE attitude. And the truth is I won't. It's not always the easiest road for me but along the way I have gathered some pretty important things. I believe I have made a difference in this life and I still have so much to do. So to Betty I say: ROLL ON SISTER. ROLL ON WITH YOUR BODACIOUS SELF.

I HEART SPEARMAN

HERITAGE DAYS 2012-SATURDAY, MAY 19TH-COODER GRAW-BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!

SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE

THE AHA MOMENT. It's as if your heart is struck by a bolt of ligthning containing love, fear, freedom, pride, joy and more love.

She is not a baby any longer. She is not a toddler. She is a girl.

Last night my parents came over for dinner and to get Betty's 'signature' (yes, it's required if they can sign their name) for a savings account. And as I watched her tiny left hand write her name I experienced the AHA moment. The moment I realized the dimples in her not so chubby hands have disappeared. Replaced with the long skinny fingers of a little girl who can sign her own name. Betty Beatrice Calvert. Almost 5. Almost ready to start kindergarten. Almost ready for those hands to play an instrument.

As I type this I find myself almost breathless. I love that little girl more than I will ever be able to convey. She is my world.

Fear. Sheer terror. She is growing up so very quickly. Where has the time gone? It is almost difficult to remember her toddling about the house with a Cindy Who ponytail on top of her head. She pours her juice. She brushes her teeth. She ties her shoes. She writes her name.

And as I wrinkle my forehead to remember those days, I am reminded of sleepless nights, diapers and molars. I will always be hers but, somehow, as they grow you become free.

The striking flash of pride? I have had a hand in keeping this tiny person safe and well. She is incredible because I have loved her to the core and busted her tail a couple of times.

How blessed am I? How wonderful is my life? How fantastic is this gift I have been given? How lucky am I to spend my days with her? My cup runneth over.

And more. So much more. Words I will never find. Her very own signature. Truly, amazing.

WITH THIS BISCUIT I THEE WED

A few days ago I noticed my friend Giulia from Rome changed her FB status from single to engaged. I sent her a message suggesting we get on chat soon to talk about the big news.

Me: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? You're engaged?

G: Oh yeah! I'm fallin in love baby.

Me: Tell me abou it. I'm so happy for you!

G: He's a beautiful and good guy. I meet him by other friend and I love it. He is smart.

Me: AWESOME! So happy you are happy! When will you get married.

G: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Don't go too fast.

Me: You are engaged so next you get married right?

G: Yes but he did not give me a ring.

Me: ?

G: Maybe we get married in a couple of years. For now I'll make at home pasta and biscuit for him.

Me: ?

G: I hand made pasta for him. Fettucini. Is an Italian type of pasta.

Me: I am glad you found someone. You deserve it.

G: Thanks, Grace. If we get married we invite you.

And I am officially moving to Italy where engagement means making a man homemade pasta and a biscuit. DONE AND DONE.