Tuesday, March 31, 2015


February 26th, 2015

Henry August Pshigoda graced us with his presence on February 26, 2015 at 11:15 a.m. as the snowflakes turned thick and heavy. Throughout my pregnancy the words MIGHTY! AND REJOICE! would blare in my head. Mighty, indeed. He is tiny weighing in at a mere 7 lbs. 14 oz. but he is surely mighty. He found his way into this world swiftly and boldly and cried the moment we set eyes on him. Seconds later he was nursing with full force and the undoubted ‘ruler of our hearts’. His name sake is a German/Russian potato farmer I never had the pleasure of meeting. I have been told he was somber and hardworking and stoic, as is his grandson, my husband and my partner in this life and all the ones before and after it. The father of this child and my second chance to do it right, to do it forever.  The single person who causes me to look in the mirror every day and want to be better and know that I am my best.

I knew long before Henry burst into our lives that day, that he was special. Blessed, anointed, a child held in God’s hands, an old soul and the truest of gifts. In all the whirlwind that is child birth, I felt a strong presence of the Heavenlies in the delivery room that day. I believe I even spoke the words out loud. Perhaps Henry August himself, his wife Pauline (Ashley’s beloved grandmother), Adam Crownover,  Justin Gifford, Beatrice Benton, Roy Bulls. Angels delivered him into our arms and I could keenly sense our great cloud of witnesses cheering us on. He is a miracle and a gift and a combination of all that is good in both of us. Here to remind us of the race that is set before us. To remind us to shed the heavy cloak of our past sins and mistakes and to start anew. Running with such might and force towards all that is good and lovely and angelic. I can and will always remember looking around the hospital room that day and envisioning the faces of those who have gone before us smiling and clapping and whispering of his beauty and might; rejoicing as he left them to be our son. The love and grace of the past year and the jet black Mohawk atop his perfect head has forever changed my soul and changes it again and again every day. Mighty. He is mighty. I will forever rejoice.

‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.’-Hebrews 12:1

Tuesday, December 3, 2013


This morning I made blueberry muffins, brewed a cup of half calf, crawled in my big chair by the fireplace with my Indian blanket and started my Bible study. It was still dark outside. My house was so quiet and still. Betty snuggled in her bed; her pink Christmas tree lights glowing on her little face under the covers. Steam on the windows.

Today’s lesson mentioned a verse in John 8 where Jesus says, “I am he.” However, when translated into the Hebrew version, the verse says, “I AM. I AM…….

I am the way, the truth and the light……

What AM I?

I am blessed beyond measure. As the holiday feeling trickles in and Josh Groban blares from my Pandora, I can barely keep tears from streaming down my face.

Whenever I have one moment of doubt about my circumstance, He is always right there to reassure me. I AM a child of God. I AM the mother of Betty. I AM the daughter, the sister, the friend. Sometimes in the dark my life seems so small; sometimes I wonder if I ever will find my ‘rooftop’. When will I shout out in great success and triumph? And then I am reminded, perhaps you don’t have to shout it out from the highest peak. Maybe a quiet whisper in the vault of your heart is enough EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

As the glow of Christmas lines shone upon two souls this morning, my heart ached with gratitude. Thankfulness for Spearman and the opportunity to give and receive blessings quietly . Gratitude for a wonderful family and amazing home. For routine and normalcy and moderation and simplicity and knowing NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT ME. It is about serving and giving and believing in the bigger plan. Mostly for a joyful heart. For the capacity to see how truly lucky I am and how beautiful this life is.  

What AM I?


Thursday, October 10, 2013

Malala Yousafzai


 J Crew $358

Go Jane $35

You can bet your booty I did a little happy dance when these came in yesterday. Dear J Crew, I'll pass please and thank you.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


Gorgeous crisp fall evening
Oak and pinion wafting through the air
Sweet soft violin music
Pottery being thrown by crazy hippie Scott from Arroyo Secco
My sweetest friend Kader, amongst others
Great appetizers and chilled wine
OVER $2,000 raised for the Art Alliance and all that we support

Cheers to an amazing weekend and the hard work done by all. ART LIVES HERE.