CALSAL

Dear Coen James Salling,

If you would like to marry a very tall strawberry blonde in approximately 30 years, please call me at 681.9977. Don't tell your parents, they might put bars on your window.

Sincerely,
Grace Calvert

HARK!

Before my very eyes, my little butterball has changed into a little girl. She is a walking, talking, thinking, learning machine. She eats steak and baked potatoes. She says please and thank you and I love you daddy. She holds you back when you hold her. I can't believe how fast time has gone by. I would give anything to hold that tiny baby again. This year, even more than last, I realize what an amazing gift we have been given. She is truly the best thing in the whole world and I thank God she is mine. Merry Christmas!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US-LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE COME

CUSTOMERS CAN SUCK IT

I am slowly but surely turning into a bitter old hag. I am so sick and tired of people not taking care of their sh*%t I can barely see straight. It's no deep secret to me, why this country is falling apart. I'm not sure there's one place left that feels a need to maintain a certain level of customer service for their clients. No one gives a rat's ass as far as I can tell.

Example One:

Over the course of 30 days, I was reassured/guaranteed/promised about 65 times that we would close on our home by October 31st. I PACKED BOX AFTER BOX. I HAD PAINTERS COME OUT. I TRUSTED. I TRUSTED. I TRUSTED. It is now November 6th. We have yet to close. I have unpacked boxes. Why? Because a certain lender did not send our file to underwriting until October 29th. OCTOBER 29TH!!!!!!! He made promises he could not keep and as of today not a damn thing has been done about it. I understand that certain documentation is needed for a home loan. I also understand those documents were needed long before last Thursday. Pull your head out!

Example Two:

We switched health insurance. Therefore, after being transferred to 300 different people, I canceled our existing coverage. Yesterday, I noticed a payment to canceled insurance had been drafted out of our account. Today, after being transferred to 300 different people, it was confirmed a certain agent did not make note of the cancellation. Will I ever see my $400 insurance premium? Not likely.

Example Three:

I went to a certain department store today to buy a pair of boots for BB...on my lunch break. They did not have her size so I decided to order them. After waiting for over 30 minutes and after five calls to the manager, she finally came sauntering down to Kids Shoes. The guy was apparently new and I kept telling myself, "What if it were you, Grace? Be kind. He can't help it. He's never entered a gift card before on an in-store order." But as I looked down the aisle, a certain manager had stopped. She was chatting with a co-worker. She could have cared less if I had been standing there for 2 hours.

I try my very best to give 110% in all that I do. I'm not perfect. I screw up a lot but I try and I genuinely care for other people. If I am good at one thing, it's caring for other people. Why don't I deserve the same respect? Why don't I deserve to be, at least, treated like a human being? Is it so hard to provide someone with a solid, truthful answer? Is it so hard to give just a little bit extra to make someone else happy? All I can say is good luck, President Obama.

SOULS

One ship drives east and another drives west
With the self same winds that blow.
‘Tis the set of sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way to go.
Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate
As we voyage along through life,
‘Tis the set of the soul
That decides the goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

MY FRONT ROW

Last night I played a major role in the fashion show at the sorority fall salad supper. I was a spider...as in the itsy bitsy spider. I, with Spout, Rain and Sun, preformed a fantastic rendition of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" in front a large group of darling older ladies. I have been teaching BB this song all weekend so I was quite good, thank you very much.

When I read this* today, my life felt so big. My life is so big. Not to everyone, I realize but to me, my family and those who love me....it's huge. Maybe I spent Monday night covered in homemade spider legs at the Church of The Nazarene in Dumas, Texas. Maybe I'm no Neil Diamond but as I picture myself on stage looking out upon my front row, I see that every seat is taken. There's Justin and BB and my parents and Charles and Mattie and the list goes on. They're all waving and clapping and cheering and doing the Itsy Bitsy Spider.

*An excerpt from my mother's blog "Pura Vida" after seeing Neil Diamond this weekend:

Well…Holly Holy!

Holly Holy…is the way we he started out his concert. Our seats were just above the stage and far enough behind him to watch him interact with the fans that were front row- up close- personal-DE-VO-TED. We blended in with the crowd around us…some 70+, some young like Brian who didn’t have a clue who ND was, and more than likely got dragged there by some insistent person such as myself and BFF Denise. But somewhere during the concert, I began to realize what an incredible.INCREDIBLE, and I do mean INCREDIBLE…gift this man had been given and how at the age of 67, he was still sharing it. "I am a man of faith…I am a man of God…I am a man of song…" and it hit me…

We all have been filled with an incredible gift. We all have a stage that rotates. We all have a back up band. We all have an audience and our very own sphere of influence. We all have fans who walk 3 miles in 3-inch heels to see us. We all have those who go without supper to come listen to us instead.

We all have those who have paid a huge price to sit on our front row.

What do we do with our gift however humble it may be? How do we use it to reach out to those reaching out to us? Those who will benefit from our integrity. Our dance. Our song. Our life. What music do we write each day of our lives that plays a message loud and clear to those who are placed in our path by God’s divine and perfect plan? What will those people walk away from our concert knowing for certain?

I may not be Neil Diamond and after his concert believe there are none like him…but I left being significantly touched by a simple man from Brooklyn, who has spent a lifetime giving others incredible joy, doing a thing that comes easy for him…

"…And I can, yes I can be a man of peace

Plant it like a tiny seed

It grows a little when you give

And gives you back when you're in need …"

BRUSHFIRE FAIRY TALES

I have been so reluctant to post this blog as I am terrified that bragging is an inevitable floodgate to disappointment but what the hey! Here goes....

Our child is:

A.)SMART AS A DANG WHIP- Evidence?
1. She counts. You say 1. She says Twooo....THREE!!!!
2. She licks her fingers when she turns the page of a book.
3. She turns the pages of books. She looks at every single picture
and pretends to read every single page.
4. She knows how to get off of the couch. She doesn't just bail. She turns
over on her tummy and safely crawls off.
5. She doesn't just speak goo-goo gaa-gaa. She speaks in full sentences.
None of it makes sense of course but when it does become words she
could possibly say, "Hello Mother, I have been waiting ages to speak
you."
B.)SWEET AS PIE- Evidence?
1. She pats things. She pats her dolls and her dad and her tummy very softly
and very slowly. As if to say, "Oh, sweet baby."
2. Yesterday I was feeding her yogurt for breakfast and she kept cocking
hear head weird. I held the container close to her face to get a bite in
and she kissed the container. Smithfield's has a little baby on their
packaging and BB wanted to give her a smackaroo. She especially
kisses scary things i.e. my mom's monster wine glass and the ghost
hanging on her front porch.
3. She snuggles. She snuggles. She snuggles.
She's quiet and happy and generous and loving for the most part. Now, don't get me wrong, I know things can change. She may end up a Holy Terror as her Grandmer says but for now, I feel like the luckiest mama in the whole wide world.

WILDFLOWERS

The Tony Llamas are officially retired. Let's face it. I have outgrown the snakeskin and settled into something a little more.....normal? I remember the old days. It couldn't have felt better to slap on a pair of boots, a short jean skirt and jump on stage playing my imaginary fiddle. But these days, I prefer something a little less bold, a little more snug and lot more comfortable. Don't get me wrong the Bandito stitching rocks! Thank you, Justin for ordering exactly what I would have picked out myself. The subtle hint of orange is right up my alley and the pointy toe could not kill a cockroach in a corner. I love them and I have decided to pass the TLs down to Mattie. She can surely find some dust to kick up down in College Station.

Having a child changes lots of things. There is still a wild spirit inside of me. I am still a gypsy and a coo-coo bird, but I am not doing fly-bys at Mach10 with my hair on fire anymore. I am comfortable in my own skin. I have my love on my arm. I am deeply happy and I feel free.

Tom Petty said it best:

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover
Run away, let your heart be your guide
You deserve the deepest of cover
You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free

HEAVEN????

Thank you Santa Fe for hosting one of the grandest wine shindigs on the face of the planet and ON MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND. It went something like this....

A crisp autumn afternoon nestled up in the mountains right behind the Santa Fe Opera House. Justin and I feasted our eyes upon every fine eatery and winery imaginable. Tapas galore were prepared: ceviche from Mariscos, scallops from Luminaria, salmon from La Boca. All of the goodness your little tastebuds could ask for and then..... Then, you ask? Then there was wine. Jordan, Justin, Silver Oak, Grgich Hills, Heitz Wine Cellars, Moet & Chandon. Hundreds of the best of the best all gathered under one clear blue sky to stuff us full of deliciousness. The best part? The best part was just when you thought you couldn't take one more pour, one more slice of cheese, one more burst of the palate, it was all over. A perfect little three hour afternoon with a nap on top.

CAN

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can.”

DAVID PAINE

David Blaine,

Unless you are going to showcase your ability to fly, time travel or dodge bullets, GIVE IT A REST. No one gives a crap if you can hang upside down for 60 hours over Central Park. Moreover, if your little trick involves a catheter PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep it on the D.L. I mean aren't you an illusionist? Do something cool and quit trying to kill you damnself.

Grace Calvert

TAKE A HIKE, IKE!

I am so very thankful that my IBCs (Islanders By Choice) and BOIs (Born On the Island) are safe but I am worried about their homes. I am worried about 1007 Ball Street and The Spot and Pat and Maryanne's in Crystal Beach. I am worried about Pieces of Ship and the Nest. Galveston is one of my favorite vacation spots and home to people that are very dear to me. I have so many fond memories and the expecation to make more there. God's embrace, Galveston.

THE LADY AND SONS LASAGNA

Today was a great day! I worked from home and so BB and I had some time to just hang. I decided to cook something Italian for dinner and my dear friend Will hooked me up with a fantastic lasagna recipe. The cool front moved in, BB crawled around and pulled all the dishes out of the cabinets, and I made homemade marinara sauce. I literally cooked (and worked sparatically) all afternoon. I love these kind of fall days where you could care less about ever going outside. I love spending time in my kitchen with the tug of a babbling one year old at my knees. Truly, it all started with a recipe and I kept imagining my Nanny in the kitchen, years ago, baking apple pies as my dad toddled around. I hope that the recipe for my life is as spectacular as hers. I hope that someday I can make a difference in this world like she has. She is one of the most honorable women I know. She has spent more afternoons in the kitchen than I could ever imagine. Her life has consisted of family and giving and bowing her head to pray over one of her favorite recipes.

*HIT AND RUN

I am totally perplexed. Today some of the ladieths in my office were standing around chatting and one of them declared, "DUMP AND RUN!" I looked out of the glass and saw a woman, not from our floor, walking out of the ladies' restroom towards the elevator. She pushed the button and went....RIGHT BACK TO HER FLOOR. The ladies told me that it happens all the time, daily in fact. Women come from all over the building to our floor to, yes, *HIT AND RUN!. Why? Why not poop on your own dang floor in your own dang restroom? Here's what I think. Forgive me for being graphic.

Bottom line...They don't want to "dump" only to look over and see they totally recognize the tan Eddie Bauer sandals and coral toe nail polish next door. "Sonofa! It's Nancy from one cubicle over! She knows it's me. She saw my black toe nail polish and is going to tell the entire office I was in here pooping....loudly."

Honest to God, I have never dumped and ran. It has never occurred to me. Maybe I'm missing out. Maybe it saves you loads of embarrassment or is a total thrill. I've just never experienced something so...vain? Yes, I am private when it comes to bathroom issues but I certainly don't walk over to the neighbors to take care of business. Women are strange strange creatures when it comes to topics like this. Do men do the same? Or do they sit and read a magazine and talk between stalls?

I am going to hang a sign on the door that says *HIT AND RUN FINES HAVE DOUBLED.

BRING ON THE INDIAN SUMMER

FINALLY FREEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!! FOR HOLLY

Please read the following entry posted on September 2, 2008:


Charles Hennessey aka Parks and Recreation Commission Chairman,

I think you have been drinking Hennessey to list "Zoo improvements to include the Big Cat and Concession facilities" as an accomplishment on the Amarillo Parks web site. I visited your Big Cat Improvement this past Sunday and it's a far cry from anything accomplished. How in the heck is the tiger's home smaller than the "mustangs"? In fact it's about the same size as the potbellied pig's excuse for a living space. That tiger needs room to run, climb, jump and pounce. I have never seen a creature so miserable. He paced, he cried, he looked up at me with those big green eyes and said, "GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE. THIS CAGE IS FRIGGIN TINY!" I swear to you Chuck, IF YOU DON'T SET THAT TIGER FREE, I WILL.

Grace Calvert


AND NOW THE ARTICLE I FOUND TODAY ON AMARILLO.COM:

A rapid health decline led to the death of the Amarillo Zoo’s Bengal tiger, Holly, over the weekend.

Consulting veterinarian Dr. Merton Pearson euthanized the 19-year-old tiger on Saturday after it was determined her condition would continue to worsen, Zoo Curator Rhonda Votino said.

“It was a very difficult decision, but her quality of life had deteriorated to a point where we felt it was the most humane alternative,” Votino said.

Zoo staff had taken the 225-pound cat off exhibit last week so her condition could be monitored after she began experiencing an onslaught of seizures.

Initial results of a necropsy included discovery of a possible thyroid tumor that may be unrelated to the cause of her seizures, which could have originated from problems in the brain, Votino said.

Exotic cats typically live 10 to 15 years in the wild and 15 to 20 years in captivity, Votino said.

ROCK ON

BB has started this new thing. When I walk in the room she points at me and smiles from ear to ear. "Mom, you rock," she says. "You are the bombdiggity. Thanks for the fresh fruit and the organic milk. Thanks for the special lotion so my skin gets extra soft. Thanks for reading to me and kissing me one thousand million times a day." Sometimes, as a mother, you forget how special you are. You forget that you are key in shaping your child's life. You forget that your child is happy and healthy because of the special things YOU do. I know so many awesome mothers. So to Melissa and Gina and Kendal and to Jess and Liz and Macie and Rebecca and Kylene and all the other BAD ASS mom's out there, YOU ROCK. YOU ROCK THE HOOOOOOOUSE.

IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT RAISE YOUR HANDS

TUESDAY'S CHILD IS FULL OF GRACE

Several years ago my mother started a journal. A compilation of letters to me and only me. When I found out I was pregnant she gave me the journal and I began writing to BB. Feeling oh so sentimental on her birthday Thursday, I went back and read some of the entries.

August 22, 2007

Betty Beatrice Calvert,

You were welcomed into this world at 12:39 p.m. We have never been so amazed, so thankful and so in love. You are perfect. You are beautiful and strong and we love you more than we ever thought possible. It's a feeling my mother has tried to describe to me 100 times but I never understood until I became your mother. Your dad and I just gaze at you, laugh at your funny faces and thank God that you are healthy. BB you are so very loved. You are two souls combined with the love of two hearts showered on you every second. Welcome! Welcome to a lifetime of happiness, trials, laughter and love. God is good.

You are not mine but I am yours.

OH JAMAICA

your waters are calm

your peeps are so friendly

your drinks so strong

your hammock so comfy

your canopy tour so long


oh jamaica i love you


more than rasta ralph loves his bong

DADA

Last week while we were gone BB stayed with Justin's mom. We were so happy they got to spend some quality time together. One morning when we called to check in Melissa mentioned something I found quite peculiar. She heard BB saying DADA! DADA! over and over. When she walked into the living room BB had her little finger on a picture of Justin when he was very young. This may not seem strange to some but he looks quite a bit different now than he did 25 years ago. How did she know it was him? Did she recognize his face? I don't believe that. I believe that daughters have a cosmic connection with their fathers. I believe Justin and BB are soulmates and knew each other long before they were even born. Maybe they frolicked in Heaven together and she has been searching for him all this time. The love the two of them share is incredible. Justin took BB to the park Saturday morning and when they came home he told me all of the things they had done that day. Swinging, teeter-tottering, hanging out. They are buddies and I see the start of a wonderful friendship between the two of them....until she turns 13.

I SWEAR

Tomorrow is my first child's first birthday party. I swore to her that her birthday party would be totally low key. "You won't even remember it, little girl," I said. "Who would waste all kinds of money on a birtday party that you won't even remember? Not this mama. No ma'am. It's going to be sooooo low key." Here is a sneak preview of the cake:




Except three tiered, of course.

STIR IT UP, MAN

DAN SANDERS YOU ROCK

UMS CONTINUES

July 14, 2008


Mr. Dan Sanders
7830 Orlando Ave.
Lubbock, Texas 79423


Dear Mr. Sanders,

Enclosed please find a blog that my daughter Grace recently posted. I tried to email you, but it was too long, so I am sending it to you.

I found it so amusing as she has had a hard time moving from Amarillo to Dumas because of UMS. I share her pain, as I live in Spearman 100 miles away and many a day have driven to Amarillo only to go to Market Street and home again to cook for friends. I would rather go there than to the mall, so I completely embrace her attitude.

Your store in Amarillo was even my inspiration to decorate our outdoor kitchen. I have spent many moments in the restroom looking at the tile instead of using the facility.

We just returned from a trip to Greece and during the long flight, my husband Brian and I both read your book, Built to Serve. What a great testimony you have. Thank you for that also.

I know from reading your book that you are the kind of man that would like to have letters like these. I’m sure you have many, but I have always believed when you have an opportunity to say something nice…take the time to say it.


Have a great day.

Gina Gillispie

THE PAT TIMES TWO

Sometime in the wee small hours of the morning BB had a bad dream. Her cry was not the standard middle of the night cry. It was more like a whimper and she was breathing heavy when I went in and picked her up. She clenched on to me as though she were terrified and I knew she must have had her first nightmare. What was it that scared her, I wondered. She's been in this world all of 11 months so I assume it was food related. Maybe she was just out of milk. I rocked her for a long time and she patted me. She's been doing that lately...laying her head on my shoulder and patting me. As if to say, well, what I am relaying when I pat her. What a sweet baby! What a sweet mama, she was telling me. I could have held her all night. I crawled back into bed and Justin, who was dreaming also, rolled over and PATTED MY BACK. He did until either he or I dosed off; I'm not sure who was first.

My heart is so full...of love and happiness and contentment. I know, it's just a pat, but it made my week. I am loved and appreciated and I am overwhelmed with how much a family can mean to one person. If you see someone you care about today, give 'em an ole pat on the back....times two.

SUMMER DAYS

What have I been doing all summer you ask.
A WHOLE LOTTA THIS:



AND A BIT OF THIS:


AND THIS:


AND SOME OF THIS:

UNITED MARKET STREET OF AMERICA

Dear United Market Street,
I love you. I would move back from Dumas just to be with you again. There is a hole in my heart where you and your glorious groceries once were. When I walk through your doors I feel like I've come home from a long trip with a hard bed. What do I love about you UMS? I love Sampling Sunday. I love your clean floors and tidy rows. I love your Summer House Iced Tea. I love Ray, the butcher, who finds all of my beef shank and fresh clam requests to be rather amusing. I love when you have a new fruit I have never tasted before. I find it very impressive that you, a grocery store, carry Mulderbosch and more importantly, my other fine friend, Kim Crawford. I would like to praise you United Market Street for hiring such fine employees as Les and Jacob who insistently card me every time I purchase alcohol just to make me feel 20 again. I love to hear the stories from the sackers especially when they are about fast cars and wild nights after a long day of high school. UMS, if you will move to Dumas I will visit you every day. I will spend hours gawking at your wine and cheese selection. UMS, if you move to Dumas, I will seek you out for part time employment. I love you United Market Street.

MATTIE BEATRICE DAVIS

In a little over two weeks my little sister is going to graduate from high school. AND. I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. IT. We are nine years apart and grew up mostly away from one another but I love her as if we'd spent every minute together as sisters should. She is beautiful, intelligent, kind, generous, bright, and witty. I have never known someone with such confidence and grace. Her smile lights up a room and I could never fit all of her achievements into this entry. She makes me proud each and every day and has already, at 18, made such an impact in this world. Mattie Beatrice, thank you for inspiring me and teaching me a thing or two about life. Thanks for letting me borrow your clothes and asking for my advice. YOU ARE MORE SPECIAL THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW!!!!!!!!!!

FELIZ PASCUA

Pizza, Pinatas and double Pina Coladas! Feliz Pascua Dumas, Texas!!!!

MY OH MY

"There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first......when you learn to live for others, they will live for you."

I guess this is going to be "gripey blog" numero dos or tres or maybe even cuatro. My gripe is this: people can be such sad selfish beings. MY problems, MY sad stories, MY burdens, MY tough road, MY MY MY. I am by no means a complete ray of sunshine or truly unselfish; I'm overly human. But there is an abundance of peeps in this world who think of nothing but the bad hand their life has dealt them. To you I say, "Get over it! Move on! If life gives you lemons then, gosh dang it, make lemonade! Accept and embrace the goodness this life has to offer. Smile, laugh, love, live, BE."

"Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever..."-- Isak Dinesen

BBH

Today's "Family Matters" entry in the High Plains Observer goes a little something like this:

Miss Betty Bubble Hat

SAVE THE TATAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well it's that time again! Time for the ole Grace to walk her butt off. Only this year my team has decided to do a 60 MILE event for breast cancer. That's what I said 60 MILES and $30,000. My personal goal is a mere $3,500 by Labor Day of 2008. As you can plainly see I'm going to need a lot of support. Not only financially but emotionally as well. I'm going to need all my peeps saying, "YOU CAN DO IT! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!!!!!" Soooooo if you'd like to make a donation, learn more about this wonderful event or just check out the cool team names such as "Bosom Buddies", go to www.08.the3Day.org. We're the Red Dirt Rockettes and we want to save the tatas!!!!

EYE QUE

People, you won't believe this. You really won't......I used to be brilliant. Not just smart, not just intelligent but BRILLIANT. When my fourth grade teacher asked my future occupation I replied, "I'm going to be a Rhode Scholar." And I was damn serious. I wrote a book and actually sent it to publishers when I was nine. I petitioned city council to set up a recycling program when I was ten. I was always at the top of my class, etc., etc., etc. The point is I USED TO BE a prodigy child. It makes sense. My sister made her first B last semester....AS A SENIOR. My brother is just all around smart. My grandmother holds a patent. My uncle invented something as well. ANYHOO, you get it by now. Somehow down the road between hither and yon I lost those brain cells. I'm not sure if it was boys or the devastation of not making the cheerleading squad or some beer drinking as a sophomore. I'm not quite sure what happened but I have really been on a downhill slope since I was 16. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a total D.A. I'm just not the brightest bulb in Vegas anymore. What is my gosh dang point you ask.

BB doesn't look anything like me. She's the spitting image of her pops. She doesn't really act like me either. She's super laid back like her pops. She's been a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to physicality. She's not doing the log roll all over the living room or pub crawling yet. But that kid, that kid, she is as smart as a whip. I can see smart in her big blue eyes. She's a thinker! THERE'S GENIUS IN THERE!!!!!!!!! Mark my words! Mark my words! SHE IS GOING TO BE THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED.

ROCK OF LOVE

I don't remember my mother rocking me. I mean, I don't remember her actually holding me in a rocking chair. I do know that she has supported me and loved me unconditionally for 27 years. She has never judged and inspired me beyond imagine. Betty is six months old, brand new as far as the vast scheme of things is concerned and I have only begun to rock her. As I hold her close and sing her lullabies, the cycle of life closes in all around us. I realize that some day, not so far away, she will rock her own babies. I love, listen, smell, breathe and live my own daughter because of my mother, who continues to ROCK me!!!!!!!!!

WATCH OUT GERBER