I AM

 

 

This morning I made blueberry muffins, brewed a cup of half calf, crawled in my big chair by the fireplace with my Indian blanket and started my Bible study. It was still dark outside. My house was so quiet and still. Betty snuggled in her bed; her pink Christmas tree lights glowing on her little face under the covers. Steam on the windows.

Today’s lesson mentioned a verse in John 8 where Jesus says, “I am he.” However, when translated into the Hebrew version, the verse says, “I AM.”  I AM…….

I am the way, the truth and the light……

What AM I?

I am blessed beyond measure. As the holiday feeling trickles in and Josh Groban blares from my Pandora, I can barely keep tears from streaming down my face.

Whenever I have one moment of doubt about my circumstance, He is always right there to reassure me. I AM a child of God. I AM the mother of Betty. I AM the daughter, the sister, the friend. Sometimes in the dark my life seems so small; sometimes I wonder if I ever will find my ‘rooftop’. When will I shout out in great success and triumph? And then I am reminded, perhaps you don’t have to shout it out from the highest peak. Maybe a quiet whisper in the vault of your heart is enough EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

As the glow of Christmas lines shone upon two souls this morning, my heart ached with gratitude. Thankfulness for Spearman and the opportunity to give and receive blessings quietly . Gratitude for a wonderful family and amazing home. For routine and normalcy and moderation and simplicity and knowing NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT ME. It is about serving and giving and believing in the bigger plan. Mostly for a joyful heart. For the capacity to see how truly lucky I am and how beautiful this life is.  

What AM I?

I AM SURROUNDED BY LIGHT.

LIGHT A FIRE, CARRY A TORCH, SAVE A BIRD

Malala Yousafzai

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THANKS BUT NO THANKS

 J Crew $358

Go Jane $35

You can bet your booty I did a little happy dance when these came in yesterday. Dear J Crew, I'll pass please and thank you.

SUCCESS STRIKES AGAIN

Gorgeous crisp fall evening
Oak and pinion wafting through the air
Sweet soft violin music
Pottery being thrown by crazy hippie Scott from Arroyo Secco
My sweetest friend Kader, amongst others
Great appetizers and chilled wine
OVER $2,000 raised for the Art Alliance and all that we support
AND ONE SWEET ASS BOLO.

Cheers to an amazing weekend and the hard work done by all. ART LIVES HERE. 

2nd Annual Barkley Street Art Walk

PALEO: WEEKEND SURVIVAL

 Gluten free+wheat free+dairy-free+pepperoni free+cheesey goodness free=THIS PILE OF.......

To be fair, I put yummy tomato sauce and cheese on Betty's pizza crust and she LOVED it. Mine however, had olive oil, mushrooms and tomatoes. Whoop! Right? Not so much. Let's just say it wasn't a party in my mouth. After this EPIC FAIL Saturday evening, I was ready for a cheat night on Sunday. Mexican food. Chips and dips and tacos and enchiladas but Mattie talked me down off of that ledge and I'm so glad. Because today? Today I feel like a champ. I have lost 6 lbs. (not my intention from this diet and will monitor) and feel like cutting out all of the crazy sugar I eat has really helped. As Mattie said, all of that junk is an addiction. The longer I go without it, the less I want it. I am not going to omit the truth and say that I did have wine over the weekend but Paleo says that's ok (maybe not my exact serving size but I DIDN'T HAVE MEXICAN FOOD). Not perfect but a definite difference in how I feel. Stay tuned.......

BIRDS EYE VIEW

A few weeks ago my awesome sister and her awesome hubby decided to start a new diet. Thanks, jerks. I will never be the same again. Welcome to Paleo. My first text of the week was THIS.IS.FOR.THE.BIRDS. And it is. You eat like a bird or a peasant or a very small fairy. I have deemed it the seeds and berries diet. I'm sure most of you have heard of Paleo but just in case here's the skinny.

No cheese. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I love cheese the most. Havarti cheese, habanero cheese, gouda cheese, green chile mac and cheese, mozarella cheese. CHEESE ENCHILADAS.

No dairy at all. I can handle this. I haven't consumed a glass of milk without a cookie in ten years so that part has been easy. I do miss sour cream and CHEESE. Mattie did help me find clarified Ghee butter. It looks like butter. It feels like butter. It tastes like butter but it ain't butter. I've also started using almond milk in my coffee (which is allowed thank you Jesus) and in Betty's oatmeal which she loves.

No bread or grains. No peanut butter cookies. No beans. No leftover donuts mid-afternoon or Snickers or Moo-llineum Cruch ice cream. No beer. No NADA that is delicious. You get the gist.

So what the heck can you eat? Here's a sample of my menu this week:

Breakfast:
Cage free egg with green chiles
Coffee
Strawberries
Blueberries

Snack:
Clementine
Peach

Lunch:
Spinach salad with chicken breast, purple onion, jalepeno and boiled egg

Snack:
Blueberries
Clementine

Dinner:
Whole trout stuffed with lemon, herbs and butter (ghee)

In the beginning, I was starving all day but that seems to have subsided and I feel like a champ. I was also worried about cost but it can be inexpensive if you make it. For example, trout is super cheap and easy to grill. The most important part is being creative. Let me tell you The Lowes in Spearman doesn't have a plethora of hippie ingredients such as almond flour or ghee butter but there are choices and you just have to use your ole noggin. Also, I'm not a huge fan of the meat part of this diet. I don't REALLY love Betty eating this much meat (especially chickens so full of hormones they could burst) but I have vowed to try it until my birthday and it's actually become quite fun. It's challenging to create a menu that falls within these guidelines and is also affordable.  I'm a foodie and this is just a new way to enjoy food. So to my health nut JERKS, thanks! This bird and her birdie thank you!

HAPPY......

It's that time of year again. My all time favorite is upon us once again. Time for me to be all cookoo and cray cray because the temperature is dropping and the leaves are changing. Cool crisp evenings, fires, soup, college football, listening to the Lynx play from our own backyard. GOODNESS. As I watched my sweet lady cheer at half time Friday night, I was reminded how much I love our little village. Just look at the gleam in her eyes as she watched them take the field. We are so blessed. So fortunate for safety and security and a beautiful home with two fireplaces and a cozy kitchen. Every year, all it takes is that chill in the wind to touch my neck and I feel wispy and wonderful all over again. What an amazing little life we live. Happy September! And don't forget it's also BIRTHDAY.MONTH!!!!

#santafewineandchilefiesta
#partylikeitsnineteenninetynine
#icantbelieveiamgoingtobethirtythree

BEACHIN' IT UP

R.I.P. MI LADIES

I am in some sort of Bardo state. Some place between sadness and hilariousness.

Sadness:

We only have two chickens left and they are the smaller ladies who are, I'm sorry, ugly. They look more like dove or pigeons or pheasant. They are somewhat skiddish and bawk about all day, never really comfortable or calm. If they ever lay eggs, which is doubtful after this traumatic experience, it will take approximately 465 eggs to make a whites only omelette.

We worked really hard to keep these ladies safe and happy. If you haven't forgotten, this isn't our first chicken experience and I was determined to make this go 'round work. We fed them cantaloupe at least once a week and blueberries occasionally. Their coop was clean and safe and they seemed to be uber fat and happy.

You can get attached to chickens. As dumb as they are, they grow on you like any other pet and it's hard to say goodbye.

Hilariousness:

I'm sorry but when I walked into the backyard and saw literally 8,000 feathers, I could not help but chuckle. WHAT.THE.HELL.HAPPENED.HERE. It wasn't a small occurrence, that's for sure. We could have stuffed 18 pillows with all of the feathers.

Seeing my entire family walk around the backyard last night looking for 'the others'. When finally, I hear, "FOUND ANOTHER ONE!"

Betty saying, "I miss our chickens but thank goodness. Now we can get some peacocks."

The ideas everyone had as to their demise: racoons, wild cats, the neighbors dog, and even an owl.
"I've heard of an owl carrying off a chihuahua puppy before."

All in all, the whole thing is just so me. I get an idea stuck in my head and refuse to give up or move forward until it is successful. I have now owned 11 chickens, eaten 0 fresh eggs, and have 2 miniatures left which will probably outlive me and never lay ONE.SINGLE.EGG. It's exactly what I get for being so gosh dang stubborn. The universe is undoubtedly shouting: YOU ARE NOT A CHICKEN RANCHER. GET A FREAKING DOG.

Omelette anyone?

Six? Already?

My prayer in the shower this morning:

God,

Thank you for six years. Thank you for 365 days times six years (too early to do the math right now but for thousands of days). Thank you for each and every time she has taken a breath and her heart has beat. Thank you for every single step, dancing steps, mud steps, skipping steps, cross walk steps, EVERY SINGLE STEP. Thank you for every tear she has cried and for every shriek of laughter. Thank you for every hair on her head and cell in her body. Thank you for every single second you have given me with her. Thank you for every good time and bad time. Thank you for her kindness and her humor and her health and her intelligence and her amazing heart. Thank you for six wonderful years with the biggest blessing a person could ever ask for. Thank you God for Betty Beatrice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SUN AND MOON!!!

Awake My Soul

Stable Song

Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn

You were cold as the blood through your bones
And the light which led us from our chosen homes
Well I was lost

And now I sleep,
Sleep the hours that I can't weep
When all I knew was steeped in blackened hopes
Well I was lost

Keep the earth below my feet
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn

And I was still but I was under your spell
When I was told by Jesus all was well
So all must be well

Just give me time
Well you know your desires and mine
So wrap my flesh in ivy and in twine
For I must be well

Keep the earth below my feet
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Well keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn

Keep the earth below my feet
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn
Keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn

Kid, You'll Move Mountains!

DREAMS COME TRUE

 

 

 

Dreams come true, Grace, that's what they do. The only variable is when.

For the slow approach: Resist. Attach. Insist. Deny. Stop. Second guess. Whine. Argue. Defend. Protest. Cry. Struggle. And ask others, when you know the answer yourself.

For the quick approach: Visualize. Pretend. Prepare. Dodge. Roll. Serpentine. Do not waiver over intentions, but over methods. Show up, even when nothing happens. And give thanks in advance.

You knew that,
The Universe

PERRILYN HAZEL DAVIS THE FIRST

Sugar and spice and everything nice. That's what little girls are mad of. Let me tell you: I.HAD.NOT.A.CLUE. how much love I would feel for this little creature. Seeing the look on my brother's face when he holds her melts my heart in a way I never imagined. She is a part of me and a part of Betty and there is just a special place in my heart for my little niece. She is perfect in every way and I can't wait to spoil her rotten and send her home. And Cousin Betty? Just look at her precious grin. She is so gentle with her, lightly stroking her forward or giving her a very soft pat when she holds her. I can picture the two of them holding hands up in Heaven. My cup runneth over!

HIPPY HIPPY BIRTHDAY

Yesterday was my baby sister’s birthday and I didn’t even get to talk to her because she was flitting about in Isla Mujeres, Mexico. She has been gone for a week and I.HAVE.MISSED.HER. You see, I have this crazy amazing relationship with my siblings that I find very rare. I talk to them almost every single day. We check in on one another and talk about what meals we are cooking or our weekend plans or the weather. Mattie and I have utilized every communication line available: Facetime, text, instant message, Heytell and even TALKING ON THE PHONE. She always has a listening ear and is wise beyond her years. I look to her for advice and solace and mostly a lot of laughter. The truth is I am so ready for her to get back, to hear about her trip, to wish her a happy birthday and to tell her how much I love her! Maybe she will read this blog while she’s on her way home today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS! I love you and am so blessed to have such an amazing lady as my sister and best friend. Over the past year you have gotten married, bought a home, completed your Masters and begun your climb up the career ladder. I could not be more proud of you. FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!! I bet you are one hungover monkey today.

THE NEW BROOD

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