SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE

THE AHA MOMENT. It's as if your heart is struck by a bolt of ligthning containing love, fear, freedom, pride, joy and more love.

She is not a baby any longer. She is not a toddler. She is a girl.

Last night my parents came over for dinner and to get Betty's 'signature' (yes, it's required if they can sign their name) for a savings account. And as I watched her tiny left hand write her name I experienced the AHA moment. The moment I realized the dimples in her not so chubby hands have disappeared. Replaced with the long skinny fingers of a little girl who can sign her own name. Betty Beatrice Calvert. Almost 5. Almost ready to start kindergarten. Almost ready for those hands to play an instrument.

As I type this I find myself almost breathless. I love that little girl more than I will ever be able to convey. She is my world.

Fear. Sheer terror. She is growing up so very quickly. Where has the time gone? It is almost difficult to remember her toddling about the house with a Cindy Who ponytail on top of her head. She pours her juice. She brushes her teeth. She ties her shoes. She writes her name.

And as I wrinkle my forehead to remember those days, I am reminded of sleepless nights, diapers and molars. I will always be hers but, somehow, as they grow you become free.

The striking flash of pride? I have had a hand in keeping this tiny person safe and well. She is incredible because I have loved her to the core and busted her tail a couple of times.

How blessed am I? How wonderful is my life? How fantastic is this gift I have been given? How lucky am I to spend my days with her? My cup runneth over.

And more. So much more. Words I will never find. Her very own signature. Truly, amazing.