Elizabeth Charlene "Many Feathers" Benton aka my Honey
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
SALVATION TO IMPART
This Easter was probably my favorite so far. I spent time with Betty, my siblings and their significant others (I have officially been deemed the 5th wheel). Thank God for my brother's LED headlamp that allowed him to cook steaks in the dark. We sat around his table Saturday night and laughed and joked and laughed some more.
Church at Polk Street on Sunday felt like home. Several Spearman peeps attended and Todd Dyess who was the pastor in Spearman for many years. He also confirmed me back in the day. It felt nice to see so many familiar faces. The music was incredible and I caught myself singing one of the hymns with my hymnal closed (that's when you know you're dang old). The day could not have been more gorgeous and we had a wonderful lunch with my dad and family.
As I sat and watched Betty inhale fried chicken at the country club our sweet waitress came and filled up my tea glass.....again. I wondered if she had to miss her family's Easter celebration so she could be at work. I thought about the pressures and hardships she might be enduring. I thought, "How am I so blessed? What have I done to deserve this incredible life I live?" It caused my stomach to twist and turn and my heart to sink for a moment. My life is full and abundant and I want for nothing. Why me? Why my family? Why were we chosen to be showered with so many gifts and blessings? The truth is I have no idea how I am so fortunate. I am no saint nor do I consider myself extraordinary. I'm just an average person who tries to do the best she can each day.I do know this Easter caused me to remember these things. It reminded me to be kind and to be greatful. It made me think about the people out there who are struggling or hurting or lonely. This Easter gave my spirit a sense of renewal. I want to be a better person. I want to help people and give back to my community. I want to make a difference.
The day ended with grilled tuna and crisp sauvignon blanc by the pond. I picked a chive bloom and popped it in my mouth. I lit the chiminea and watched the fire dance. I found my own LED light and thought I am blessed, very blessed indeed.
Friday, April 22, 2011
MY SUN HANDS
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
Kahlil Gibran
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
Kahlil Gibran
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
AND IT GOES ON
Last night I bathed Betty. I washed her hair and put her towel in the dryer. I lathered her in lotion and brushed her hair. Her hands were dry so I mixed some rash cream and vaseline and rubbed her pudgey little hands and I thought how sad that I don't get to do this for the rest of my life. Someday she will be too big for this sort of thing. I thought soon she will be 18 and she will be gone. My life as her caregiver will be over. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Having a child is FOREVER. It is not just 18 years or 30 years or 60 years. When you bring a child into this world it begins a cycle that will endure through the last day of your life.
Because after Betty I will rub lotion on someone's hands again. My mother's hands.
Because after Betty I will rub lotion on someone's hands again. My mother's hands.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
WAR IN OUR HOUSE
I realize this might be the longest post EVER but it quite possibly made my year. I have managed to become friends with Manu and Julia(from Rome).....now on MSN. They wanted to translate this Sardinian Anthem for me in English and Italian. MADE.MY.YEAR.
manuele says:
julia are you ready?
Grace Davis says:
i will come to sardinia
Giulia Fiorentini says:
yes
manuele says:
parla di quando i tiranni stranieri
baroni
ecc
Giulia Fiorentini says:
procured to moderate
manuele says:
sottomettevano il nostro popolo
Giulia Fiorentini says:
talks about when the stranger tiran
submit the sardinian people
manuele says:
per tutta la nostra vita loro ci hanno messo la guerra in casa e hanno
iniziato a distruggere
nel nostro popolo la pazienza
Giulia Fiorentini says:
for all the life he come and put the war in our house
manuele says:
guardate cosa state pensando con nelle loro bocche il fuoco
Giulia Fiorentini says:
and will start to destroy in sardinian the patience
manuele says:
guardate che non è un gioco le cose quà succedono veramente
Giulia Fiorentini says:
look at what you think with in their burning mouth
look that's not a joke here the thing is really happens
manuele says:
guardate che le cose aeree sono temporali
(come dire che le parole poi diventano reali)
la gente viene consigliata male dalla mia voce adesso
Giulia Fiorentini says:
look the air thing pass away
manuele says:
ma ascoltatela
Giulia Fiorentini says:
(the word =the air thing,become real)
manuele says:
questo popolo è ORA DI ESTIRPARE I LORO ABUSI
Giulia Fiorentini says:
the peolpe is ill advised in bad way from my voice now
manuele says:
in questa terra ci sono troppi abusi
Giulia Fiorentini says:
peolpe is time to extirpate these abuses
in these land there is too much abouses
manuele says:
guerra guerra..., guerra all'egoismo e guerra agli opressori
questi tiranni mirano hanno uno solo scopo UMILIARE
Giulia Fiorentini says:
war war,war at egoism and war to the oppressor
this tiran look just to umiliate
manuele says:
again?
Giulia Fiorentini says:
(GRACE ARE YOU UNDERSTANDING? )
Grace Davis says:
yes!
manuele says:
i transalate again?
Grace Davis says:
i am smiling
i am happy!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
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