EYE OF THE TIGER

Dear Hangover,

I am real sick of you. I could understand your persistence if I were, say, drinking every night or going to bars and taking shots of tequila. I HAD FRIENDS OVER FOR DINNER FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!! Can't I have three glasses of wine without you breathing down my neck? It's getting pretty ridiculous, Hangover. If you want to come around when I stay up past, say, 10:00 p.m. go for it. But under the present circumstances I don't see any reason for you to knock on my door. I am, for the most part, a well-behaved drinker (unless I'm on vacation and you never leave me alone then). I don't hang from the rafters or get bombed around my child. I don't smoke in my house or spill wine on the new carpet. I STAY AT HOME, SIT AROUND A TABLE AND CONVERSATE WITH OTHER ADULTS. Is that a friggin' crime? If you want to go to the mattresses, let's do it. I will not be defeated. If I want to indulge twice a week, I sure the heck will. I am 28 not 78 and you can't take me down, Hangover. BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING IT YOU SORRY DOG!!!!

Yours Truly,
G