ORANGE YOU GLAD TO KNOW?

Betty Beatrice Calvert peeled an orange (ok it was a clementine but nonetheless)! She shocked me when she came out of her room dressed one day. She baffled me the first day she put her shoes on the right feet. I nearly fell to the floor a couple of weeks ago when she squeezed out the toothpaste and brushed all of those pearly whites in a perfect circular motion. But this topped 'em all. She opened the fruit drawer in the fridge and asked, "May I have an orange?" I'll admit my fat butt was sitting on the couch watching crazy Roz acuse Chris of hitting on the producer's wife in New Zealand but whatev. I had every intention of peeling it for her and then she came and sat by me, Half of the clem in her mouth and the other perfectly skinned in her hand. Justin and I wondered if she used her teeth or her fingers to get it open. She did it twice and we kept asking her where she learned how to peel an orange. From watching us I guess.....

It's just amazing. These tiny accomplishments that seem so small but are so important in their own right. I haven't actually given her orange peeling lessons so she has picked it up by pure observation. I realized last night that too soon her dad will be pushing her down the street on her bike and not too long after that we'll be shipping her off to college or the Peace Corps or whatever. It's precious. It flies by so fast it's almost scary. With each new "trick" the tiny baby disappears and is replaced by a little girl. Peeling oranges is more precious than I ever imagined it could be.....

LIVE

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."-Jack London

KISS MY GRITS

Cancer,

You suck.

F Off,
Grace

WHY I LOVE JOHN MAYER ALMOST AS MUCH AS THE DOGG

"Edge of Desire"
Young and full off running
tell me where is that taking me
just a great figure eight
or a tiny infinite

love is really nothing
but a dream that keeps waking me
for all of my trying
we still end up dying
how can it be?

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me

so young and full off running
all the way to the edge of desire
steady my breathing
silently screaming
I have to have you now

wired and I'm tired
think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor
baby this mattress will spin on it's axis
and find me on yours

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me


"War of My Life"
Come out Angels
Come out Ghosts
Come out Darkness
Bring everyone you know

I'm not running
I'm not scared
I am waiting and well prepared

I'm in the war of my life
At the door of my life
Out of Time and there's no where to run away

I've got a hammer
And a heart of glass
I got to know right now
Which walls to smash

I got a pocket
Got no pill
If fear hasn't killed me yet
Than nothing will

All the suffering
And all the pain
Never liked to label

I'm in the war of my life
At the door of my life
Out of time and there's nowhere to run

I'm in the war of my life
At the core of my life
I've got no choice but to fight 'til it's done

No more suffering
No more pain
Never again

I'm in the war of my life
At the door of my life
Out of time and there's no where to run

I'm in the war of my life
I'm at the core of my life
Got no choice but to fight 'til it's done
So Fight on, fight on everyone, so fight on
Got no choice but to fight 'til it's done

I'm in the war of my life
I'm at the core of my life
I've got no choice but to fight 'til it's done

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

SNOW DAYS

Last Thursday morning a huge snow storm blew into the Texas Panhandle and The Calverts were officially snowed in....for days and days. I did not leave 1308 (except for sledding and a quick trip to the store)until today. I absolutely loved it. I could totally move back to the NE and be snowed in all the time. I'll admit there was a little boredom here and there but I totally enjoyed being home. I read a book, had a fire every day all day, made Betty apple cider, cooked tons of soup, Wii bowled, drank a little sauvignon blanc (shocker), and stayed in my jammies for most of it. Betty read books, painted, watched movies. We made cookies and took naps. Justin shoveled snow, checked cattle with a friend, and made a delicious new Jamaican oxtail recipe. As I drove to work today, I almost ached. I don't know that I could do it forever but I was so incredibly happy to be home with my family. There was a moment I looked at Betty and tears filled my eyes. She is so big. She is so grown and funny and smart and precious. I looked at her and felt shocked all over again. Shocked that we made that little person. That she grew in my belly and was just a little grain of rice not so very long ago. She was a thought, a whisper, a dream for so long. She fills our hearts with such joy. I love her more than I ever thought possible. I miss her so badly today. Justin and I try our very hardest. We try to be consistent and steady and balanced. No matter how hard you try there is still a longing to do more for your child. It's the fullest empty void I've ever experienced. My heart is so full with love but always on the verge of jumping into the Guilt Pool (spankings for pants pooping, raviolis instead of something homemade, skipping lotion after bath, going to Mexico, things of that nature). This was her prayer last night: Dear God Father, thank you for blessings, for mommy and daddy,
Rebecca and Acie, skiing and lunch. Amen. And then this, "Once upon a time there was a Princess named Betty Atrice and a Princess named Acie. Princess BB and Acie wanted to go to the zoo and see the manimals. The camels and monkeys. And the elephants. And Princess Mommy and Princess Daddy wanted to go to the dance. The End."