I do solemnly swear that I will not:
1. Wear the same outfit as my child.
2. Place a Baby-on-Board or Stick Figure Family bumper sticker on the wagon I swore I'd never drive.
3. Put my child on one of those crazy leashes.
4. Own a Dodge Caravan.
5. Carry a purse (or any bag for that matter) with my child's picture on it.
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