Tuesday, February 2, 2010
SNOW DAYS
Last Thursday morning a huge snow storm blew into the Texas Panhandle and The Calverts were officially snowed in....for days and days. I did not leave 1308 (except for sledding and a quick trip to the store)until today. I absolutely loved it. I could totally move back to the NE and be snowed in all the time. I'll admit there was a little boredom here and there but I totally enjoyed being home. I read a book, had a fire every day all day, made Betty apple cider, cooked tons of soup, Wii bowled, drank a little sauvignon blanc (shocker), and stayed in my jammies for most of it. Betty read books, painted, watched movies. We made cookies and took naps. Justin shoveled snow, checked cattle with a friend, and made a delicious new Jamaican oxtail recipe. As I drove to work today, I almost ached. I don't know that I could do it forever but I was so incredibly happy to be home with my family. There was a moment I looked at Betty and tears filled my eyes. She is so big. She is so grown and funny and smart and precious. I looked at her and felt shocked all over again. Shocked that we made that little person. That she grew in my belly and was just a little grain of rice not so very long ago. She was a thought, a whisper, a dream for so long. She fills our hearts with such joy. I love her more than I ever thought possible. I miss her so badly today. Justin and I try our very hardest. We try to be consistent and steady and balanced. No matter how hard you try there is still a longing to do more for your child. It's the fullest empty void I've ever experienced. My heart is so full with love but always on the verge of jumping into the Guilt Pool (spankings for pants pooping, raviolis instead of something homemade, skipping lotion after bath, going to Mexico, things of that nature). This was her prayer last night: Dear God Father, thank you for blessings, for mommy and daddy,
Rebecca and Acie, skiing and lunch. Amen. And then this, "Once upon a time there was a Princess named Betty Atrice and a Princess named Acie. Princess BB and Acie wanted to go to the zoo and see the manimals. The camels and monkeys. And the elephants. And Princess Mommy and Princess Daddy wanted to go to the dance. The End."
Rebecca and Acie, skiing and lunch. Amen. And then this, "Once upon a time there was a Princess named Betty Atrice and a Princess named Acie. Princess BB and Acie wanted to go to the zoo and see the manimals. The camels and monkeys. And the elephants. And Princess Mommy and Princess Daddy wanted to go to the dance. The End."
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST
RC told me, "You're always giving the peace sign." Naaaaaaaaah........
PEACE!
Cowboys kick ass peace.
Pregnant at Homer's but peace anyway.
Double peace with my peeps in Galveston.
Peaces of ship.
D.peaCe.
Paz.
Peace, love, and money.
PEACE!
Cowboys kick ass peace.
Pregnant at Homer's but peace anyway.
Double peace with my peeps in Galveston.
Peaces of ship.
D.peaCe.
Paz.
Peace, love, and money.
Friday, January 22, 2010
SURVIVALIST
Approximately 7:00 a.m.
Justin: I had the craziest dream last night and I remeber every bit of it.
Me: (low growl) What happened?
Justin: We had been attacked by terrorists at the Sunray Valero Plant and they called a town hall meeting. We were all sitting around trying to decide how to fight off the terrorists and what we were going to do. And I came up with this idea to make all of the women in Dumas go topless. That way if the terrorists looked at the topless ladies they would be sinning against Allah. And it worked Grace. It totally worked.
Justin: I had the craziest dream last night and I remeber every bit of it.
Me: (low growl) What happened?
Justin: We had been attacked by terrorists at the Sunray Valero Plant and they called a town hall meeting. We were all sitting around trying to decide how to fight off the terrorists and what we were going to do. And I came up with this idea to make all of the women in Dumas go topless. That way if the terrorists looked at the topless ladies they would be sinning against Allah. And it worked Grace. It totally worked.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
RUN LIKE HELL
5:07 a.m.:
ME: I thought you put Betty in her own bed last night.
JC: I did.
ME: Well then what's she doing in here?
JC: Hell, I don't know. Did you go get her?
ME: No. You didn't?
JC: No. She must have crawled out of her bed again.
ME: I didn't hear her.
JC: I didn't either.
ME: I bet that was a scary dart through the living room. I remember creeping across the living room.....
JC: Me too. That's where all the monsters were.
7:30 a.m.:
ME: Did you crawl out of your bed?
BETTY: Yes. I got scared in the middle of the night Momma.
ME: What were you scared of?
BETTY: Monsters, Momma.
As far as I'm concerned, she can sleep in our bed until she's 5. I mean what is the big deal exactly? Shall we address the elephant in the room? YOU CAN STILL HAVE SEX IF YOUR CHILD SLEEPS IN YOUR BED. Think nap time. Think...well think whatever you want to think. I vividly remember those monsters and the utter terror of running across the living room. Not that it was often. We slept in our parents' room on pallets way past 5. I love it. I love rolling over to see her sweet little face. I love feet in my ribs and face. Just remember someday we will be the monsters and they'll run like hell from us. Someday they will look at us with disgust and think we are the most stupid thing on the face of the planet. I'll take all the 2 year old snugglin I can get. It's a fleeting moment that will be gone way too soon......
ME: I thought you put Betty in her own bed last night.
JC: I did.
ME: Well then what's she doing in here?
JC: Hell, I don't know. Did you go get her?
ME: No. You didn't?
JC: No. She must have crawled out of her bed again.
ME: I didn't hear her.
JC: I didn't either.
ME: I bet that was a scary dart through the living room. I remember creeping across the living room.....
JC: Me too. That's where all the monsters were.
7:30 a.m.:
ME: Did you crawl out of your bed?
BETTY: Yes. I got scared in the middle of the night Momma.
ME: What were you scared of?
BETTY: Monsters, Momma.
As far as I'm concerned, she can sleep in our bed until she's 5. I mean what is the big deal exactly? Shall we address the elephant in the room? YOU CAN STILL HAVE SEX IF YOUR CHILD SLEEPS IN YOUR BED. Think nap time. Think...well think whatever you want to think. I vividly remember those monsters and the utter terror of running across the living room. Not that it was often. We slept in our parents' room on pallets way past 5. I love it. I love rolling over to see her sweet little face. I love feet in my ribs and face. Just remember someday we will be the monsters and they'll run like hell from us. Someday they will look at us with disgust and think we are the most stupid thing on the face of the planet. I'll take all the 2 year old snugglin I can get. It's a fleeting moment that will be gone way too soon......
Monday, December 28, 2009
I'M A BRAGGER. SO SUE ME.
Late Friday night Justin and I decided we would load Betty up Saturday morning and take her for a quick ski run in Taos. Here's an excerpt from her Ski School "Report Card".
During my play time, I was:
Really interested in playing with the dolls and looking out the window at all of the people. I had a great mini-elite lesson also.
During my mini-elite lesson I:
Betty and I had a blast today. We wanted to get right outside and had no problems putting on all of our ski stuff. Took us a little while to walk down the hall with our heavy boots. The sled ride downt the hallway made that a bit quicker. Betty had a great attitude and lots of questions. She slid all by herself 3 times down the green carpet. She had a good laugh the one time she fell. Awesome lil girl with a great attitude.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
THE SCALE
I am a Libra. I am a balance seeker. Picture Goofy with the Goofy Angel on one shoulder and the Goofy Lucifer on the other. I weigh things out, ponder them, think of how they will affect others. Will it rock the boat? Will it hurt someone's feelings? Is it good or bad? Strong or weak? Selfish or selfless? There is a side of me that comes through each and every day saying, "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. PRAISE GOD. BE THANKFUL FOR ALL YOU HAVE. And then there is the other side screaming, "LIFE IS TOUGH. WHY IS LIFE SO DANG TOUGH?"
I have spent the past few weeks doing my checks and balances for 2009. My overall consensus: THANK GOD IT'S ALMOST OVER.
Lucifer Grace:
It has been a damn hard year. I have spent more time at funerals than I would care to discuss and even more time on websites checking on people I love that are hurting or suffering. We have lost loved ones. My boss (mentor) was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and is currently going through chemo. A dear friend's Love collapsed after the Rock-n-Roll Marathon and is still in recovery. Justin's co-worker lost his young son while backpacking in Thailand. And it goes on and on........
The oil business tanked for a couple of months and I was damn near out of a job. We are still in the process of recovering from that financial bomb. The insurance business has been just as bad but for a lot longer. Enough said.
My car was totaled. It was not my fault. My insurance had to cover it.
Betty poops in her pants. A lot. Just potty training in general is tough
The thing is I could type 1,000 things but I refuse to let myself.
Angel Grace:
Although, we have witnessed some horrible accidents and mishaps this year. Nothing traumatic has happened to us. We have remained healthy and alive and somewhat sane. Our families have been healthy and our daughter continues to grow and learn and thrive. She is so incredibly special.
We have a roof over our heads, a warm bed and are still employed. Furthermore, I stood in my bathroom a couple of weeks ago and began to make a mental list of all the things I was thankful for in that room alone: towels, hot water, a closet full of clothes, a toothbrush, a working toilet, a warm fuzzy robe.
I have a car.
Betty is on the verge of being potty trained. No more diapers. No more pull-ups. NO MORE DIAPERS!
The point is this. It is so easy to get lost in the hard things especially after an off year such as 2009. It is so easy to forget the importance of the small things. It is so easy for your scale to get off kilter. To be weighed down by anger or sadness or confusion. You are not called to an easy life. You are called to a purposeful life. But in spite of difficulty look at the wall of blessings that surrounds us. Look at the millions of things we have to cherish and hold dear.
I never do resolutions. Mainly because I don't keep them. But this year I resolve to appreciate the scale. To realize how fortunate I am to posess the understanding that life must be measured and weighed. That it is a constant neverending process of give and take. Good and bad. Give and take. You are not called to an easy life. You are called to a purposeful life.
Merry Christmas and bring on 2010!
I have spent the past few weeks doing my checks and balances for 2009. My overall consensus: THANK GOD IT'S ALMOST OVER.
Lucifer Grace:
It has been a damn hard year. I have spent more time at funerals than I would care to discuss and even more time on websites checking on people I love that are hurting or suffering. We have lost loved ones. My boss (mentor) was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and is currently going through chemo. A dear friend's Love collapsed after the Rock-n-Roll Marathon and is still in recovery. Justin's co-worker lost his young son while backpacking in Thailand. And it goes on and on........
The oil business tanked for a couple of months and I was damn near out of a job. We are still in the process of recovering from that financial bomb. The insurance business has been just as bad but for a lot longer. Enough said.
My car was totaled. It was not my fault. My insurance had to cover it.
Betty poops in her pants. A lot. Just potty training in general is tough
The thing is I could type 1,000 things but I refuse to let myself.
Angel Grace:
Although, we have witnessed some horrible accidents and mishaps this year. Nothing traumatic has happened to us. We have remained healthy and alive and somewhat sane. Our families have been healthy and our daughter continues to grow and learn and thrive. She is so incredibly special.
We have a roof over our heads, a warm bed and are still employed. Furthermore, I stood in my bathroom a couple of weeks ago and began to make a mental list of all the things I was thankful for in that room alone: towels, hot water, a closet full of clothes, a toothbrush, a working toilet, a warm fuzzy robe.
I have a car.
Betty is on the verge of being potty trained. No more diapers. No more pull-ups. NO MORE DIAPERS!
The point is this. It is so easy to get lost in the hard things especially after an off year such as 2009. It is so easy to forget the importance of the small things. It is so easy for your scale to get off kilter. To be weighed down by anger or sadness or confusion. You are not called to an easy life. You are called to a purposeful life. But in spite of difficulty look at the wall of blessings that surrounds us. Look at the millions of things we have to cherish and hold dear.
I never do resolutions. Mainly because I don't keep them. But this year I resolve to appreciate the scale. To realize how fortunate I am to posess the understanding that life must be measured and weighed. That it is a constant neverending process of give and take. Good and bad. Give and take. You are not called to an easy life. You are called to a purposeful life.
Merry Christmas and bring on 2010!
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