THE SCALE

I am a Libra. I am a balance seeker. Picture Goofy with the Goofy Angel on one shoulder and the Goofy Lucifer on the other. I weigh things out, ponder them, think of how they will affect others. Will it rock the boat? Will it hurt someone's feelings? Is it good or bad? Strong or weak? Selfish or selfless? There is a side of me that comes through each and every day saying, "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. PRAISE GOD. BE THANKFUL FOR ALL YOU HAVE. And then there is the other side screaming, "LIFE IS TOUGH. WHY IS LIFE SO DANG TOUGH?"

I have spent the past few weeks doing my checks and balances for 2009. My overall consensus: THANK GOD IT'S ALMOST OVER.

Lucifer Grace:

It has been a damn hard year. I have spent more time at funerals than I would care to discuss and even more time on websites checking on people I love that are hurting or suffering. We have lost loved ones. My boss (mentor) was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and is currently going through chemo. A dear friend's Love collapsed after the Rock-n-Roll Marathon and is still in recovery. Justin's co-worker lost his young son while backpacking in Thailand. And it goes on and on........

The oil business tanked for a couple of months and I was damn near out of a job. We are still in the process of recovering from that financial bomb. The insurance business has been just as bad but for a lot longer. Enough said.

My car was totaled. It was not my fault. My insurance had to cover it.

Betty poops in her pants. A lot. Just potty training in general is tough

The thing is I could type 1,000 things but I refuse to let myself.

Angel Grace:

Although, we have witnessed some horrible accidents and mishaps this year. Nothing traumatic has happened to us. We have remained healthy and alive and somewhat sane. Our families have been healthy and our daughter continues to grow and learn and thrive. She is so incredibly special.

We have a roof over our heads, a warm bed and are still employed. Furthermore, I stood in my bathroom a couple of weeks ago and began to make a mental list of all the things I was thankful for in that room alone: towels, hot water, a closet full of clothes, a toothbrush, a working toilet, a warm fuzzy robe.

I have a car.

Betty is on the verge of being potty trained. No more diapers. No more pull-ups. NO MORE DIAPERS!

The point is this. It is so easy to get lost in the hard things especially after an off year such as 2009. It is so easy to forget the importance of the small things. It is so easy for your scale to get off kilter. To be weighed down by anger or sadness or confusion. You are not called to an easy life. You are called to a purposeful life. But in spite of difficulty look at the wall of blessings that surrounds us. Look at the millions of things we have to cherish and hold dear.

I never do resolutions. Mainly because I don't keep them. But this year I resolve to appreciate the scale. To realize how fortunate I am to posess the understanding that life must be measured and weighed. That it is a constant neverending process of give and take. Good and bad. Give and take. You are not called to an easy life. You are called to a purposeful life.

Merry Christmas and bring on 2010!