YOU

In the wee small hours of the morning, I placed my head on your tiny chest and felt you breathe in and out. I put my finger in your still pudgy hand and listened to the beat of your heart. I was reminded of a day not so long ago when I heard your heart beat for the first time. A hundred beats a minute, it seemed. A tiny little life swimming in a sea of protection from this crazy world. I remembered a day I called and left a recording of your heartbeat on your Poppy and B’s answering machine. I was so proud. I could not believe I had a hand in creating that melodic sound. Such peace. I thought of the days I read to my belly and played Bob Marley to calm your heart. As I laid and listened, I thought about the first time you will put your hand over your heart to honor our country. I thought about the first time your heart will pitter patter over a boy. I thought of the pride, the joy, the swell, the jump, the peace, the happiness, the race and the love your heart will feel in its lifetime. I pondered your heart’s excitement as you walk across the stage, leave home and start anew. Open road, your small town heart left in the rearview mirror. And I could not bear to think of your heart broken or in pain or lonesome. But all of these things it will be. For now, I am the keeper of your heart so I prayed God will hold it safe and healthy and strong and allow it to tick long after I am gone. But most of all I thought of the day when your heart will beat for someone else. The day you will love someone so much your heart aches and the day you will hear a new drum begin to beat.

What a beautiful, wonderful, challenging path you have in front of you. With all of its ups and downs and laughter and sorrow. Remember to listen to your heart. Follow its whispers and its loud cries. Let it be open and without hatred or judgment and full of forgiveness. Bring down the walls. Find what it is you yearn for deep in its depths. But most of all set your heart free. It does not belong to you or me. It belongs to the journey of life. The amazing journey of life.