I'LL GIVE YA $50 BUCKS

Of course it's a signed shot glass for Betty. Of course it's autographed by Chumlee from Pawn Stars. Who wouldn't think this is a bad ass surprise from Vegas.....for a two year old? My daughter has no idea how cool her family is.

JIM

For Mattie.......

As I opened the window and glanced at my blonde baby deep in down pillows I thought of him.

There is a man who has changed my life. As of last Friday I have felt renewed and forgiven.

It is true. I posess this characteristic of wanting more, growing more and changing. I am unpredictable and often a rolling stone. It's a curse and a blessing. I seek more. I seek more within myself and often that makes my companions grow weary. Given more, expected more so I've been told. Wanting more? Wanting more is always so hard and yet it is reciprocated by this gift of giving more. To be simple. I long to be simple.

A man I know has changed my life by being simple. When asked about him and his lifestyle someone responded, "He works hard and expects nothing." Each and every week I see a steady hand wash my windshield and pump my gas. Always a kind word and a giving heart. To most pumping gas at a self serve in Spearman, Texas doesn't amount to much. To me? To me it has meant everything. My friend gives every inkling of his heart to do something he is good at. With each swipe and ticket he feels proud and vendicated. He's making a difference in someone's day one at a time.

My big home? My down pillows? My granite countertops? Nothing. Be kind. Try really really hard at what you're best at. Speak a kind word and let someone feel you care. Being a good human being is finding the depth of your heart, whatever it may be, and givng it 110%. May you be a mother or a student or a gas pumper, the impact you are capable of is all the same.

As I get into my car early each morning I think of him and how his heart has changed my day. I think about how is effort warms my heart. I think about how much he gives for so little in return. Work hard and expect nothing. Find the simplicity within yourself and expect nothing more. The love and goodness you own will shine through. It will shine through your heart and soul and make you want to write about someone elses's simplicity and triumph. It will change your day. One day at a time.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

This isn't really my story to tell. I'm just the messenger.

I remember the day she lost it. She had been by the jewelry store to have it cleaned and they were closed. Later that evening she and Adam sat in our backyard for beers. And then it was gone. Her diamond. Her precious precious diamond had fallen from her wedding ring. The next day we scoured. Justin and I spent days looking through the grass on all fours, searching and hoping. Was it in our yard? Was it in the street in front of the jewelry store? Was it in her car? It was gone. Simply gone. Nowhere to be found.....and two weeks later Adam was gone as well.

Fast forward almost one year later. Fast forward through rain and snow, through mowing and weedeating, through dog stomping and children romping, through hundreds of false hopes that I had found it. Instead a cigarette butt or a piece of plastic.

I stood on the back porch last night as I have done countless times over the past year and looked up into the night sky. It was if a tiny light had flickered on. It was as if a firefly had landed on a blade of grass. I knew at that moment it was her diamond. I knew it with every inch of my heart. And it was. Other than giving birth to my daughter, I have never felt as close to God as I did last night.

I know this. That diamond belonged back in Rebecca's hands. I know that Adam's star was shining down at that precise moment to make sure the diamond was bright in my vision. I know that good things happen to good people. I know dreams do come true. I know that Rebecca is a diamond in the rough. I know I believe in magic.

ORANGE YOU GLAD TO KNOW?

Betty Beatrice Calvert peeled an orange (ok it was a clementine but nonetheless)! She shocked me when she came out of her room dressed one day. She baffled me the first day she put her shoes on the right feet. I nearly fell to the floor a couple of weeks ago when she squeezed out the toothpaste and brushed all of those pearly whites in a perfect circular motion. But this topped 'em all. She opened the fruit drawer in the fridge and asked, "May I have an orange?" I'll admit my fat butt was sitting on the couch watching crazy Roz acuse Chris of hitting on the producer's wife in New Zealand but whatev. I had every intention of peeling it for her and then she came and sat by me, Half of the clem in her mouth and the other perfectly skinned in her hand. Justin and I wondered if she used her teeth or her fingers to get it open. She did it twice and we kept asking her where she learned how to peel an orange. From watching us I guess.....

It's just amazing. These tiny accomplishments that seem so small but are so important in their own right. I haven't actually given her orange peeling lessons so she has picked it up by pure observation. I realized last night that too soon her dad will be pushing her down the street on her bike and not too long after that we'll be shipping her off to college or the Peace Corps or whatever. It's precious. It flies by so fast it's almost scary. With each new "trick" the tiny baby disappears and is replaced by a little girl. Peeling oranges is more precious than I ever imagined it could be.....

LIVE

"I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time."-Jack London

KISS MY GRITS

Cancer,

You suck.

F Off,
Grace

WHY I LOVE JOHN MAYER ALMOST AS MUCH AS THE DOGG

"Edge of Desire"
Young and full off running
tell me where is that taking me
just a great figure eight
or a tiny infinite

love is really nothing
but a dream that keeps waking me
for all of my trying
we still end up dying
how can it be?

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me

so young and full off running
all the way to the edge of desire
steady my breathing
silently screaming
I have to have you now

wired and I'm tired
think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor
baby this mattress will spin on it's axis
and find me on yours

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
there I just said it
I'm scared you'll forget about me


"War of My Life"
Come out Angels
Come out Ghosts
Come out Darkness
Bring everyone you know

I'm not running
I'm not scared
I am waiting and well prepared

I'm in the war of my life
At the door of my life
Out of Time and there's no where to run away

I've got a hammer
And a heart of glass
I got to know right now
Which walls to smash

I got a pocket
Got no pill
If fear hasn't killed me yet
Than nothing will

All the suffering
And all the pain
Never liked to label

I'm in the war of my life
At the door of my life
Out of time and there's nowhere to run

I'm in the war of my life
At the core of my life
I've got no choice but to fight 'til it's done

No more suffering
No more pain
Never again

I'm in the war of my life
At the door of my life
Out of time and there's no where to run

I'm in the war of my life
I'm at the core of my life
Got no choice but to fight 'til it's done
So Fight on, fight on everyone, so fight on
Got no choice but to fight 'til it's done

I'm in the war of my life
I'm at the core of my life
I've got no choice but to fight 'til it's done