MURDER WAS THE CASE THAT THEY GAVE ME

Dear Snoop,

As I'm sure you know, I've had a crush on you for quite some time now. In fact it all started in 7th grade with Gin and Juice. But I have to tell you Snoop, you've lost that gangsta love and I think I'm over it. I completely winced when I heard you were guest starring on One Life to Live. And now? Katy Perry? California Gurls? I can't take it. What happened to all the drama in the LBC? What happened to Amerikaz Most Wanted and Hennessey? I'm pretty certain you've replaced the Coolwater cologne with something more Old Spiceish and it's unacceptable. I realize we all mature and grow and change but if you don't have the mad rhymes anymore, hang up the gold chain and call it a good run.

Whatever,
G

BETTY BEATRICE CALVERT

I love this little person to the moon and back. I love her so much it makes my heart ache. As I uploaded these pics, my eyes filled with tears. She is willful. She is independent. She is strong headed. She is thoughtful. She is sharp. She is me. Only better...much much better.

AMERICAN IDIOT

Driving home yesterday, a song came on the radio and I thought, SWEET! GREEN DAY. And then I drifted off into a 90 second day dream which went something like this.

"You and Becca talked about going to a Green Day concert in Boston. You're too damn old to be at a Green Day concert. Wait. You're not thirty yet. Maybe, it would be a great way to wrap up the decade. But, all the way to Boston for a Green Day concert? You're a mom. Ridiculous. Wait. Billie Joe Armstrong has got to be close to forty and he has TWO kids. Oh and he's bisexual. Right."

Zone back in.....

And realize it's Gavin Rossdale. And therefore decide it would be best to create a Green Day station on Pandora and call it good enough.

HAPPY

Me: Betty, are you happy?

Betty: Yes.

Me: What does it mean to be happy?

Betty: To be special.

We are happy indeed.