JC

Ladies and Gentlemen, please meet my husband, Justin The One and Only Calvert:

The Daredevil

The Fisherman

The Biker Dude

The Joker

??????

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT

So I couldn't spell giuds, I sure had somethin' figured out.

ROAD CLOSED-DETOUR AHEAD

I know. I know. I've been gripey. I've been sensitive. I've given undeserving people quite a tongue lashing for making semi-harmless comments about pregnant women. I know.

So, today, today I am sorry for one reason and one reason only. THE NICE LADY AT THE AIRPORT. The Nicest Lady at Rick Husband International Airport said to me, "Ya'll are so cute under construction." And although I was standing next to my beautiful gorgeous cousin, I knew she wasn't talking about that ya'll. She was talking about me and my wee baby. "Ya'll are so cute under construction." In other words, ya'll are women at work, ya'll are cute as pie with a miracle on top, ya'll are life!!!!!! YA'LL ARE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

I would take an eternity of fat jokes for just one day of being the keeper of life.

1993

Go! Go! Gus Birdwell Elementary! Where in the world is Grace's little brother?

IF ONLY I WAS MARY

My dad, Jerry, has a cousin, Terry, who has a brother. His name is Larry.

My dad, Jerry, has a cousin, Terry, who has a donkey. His name is Larry.

Whoa and whoa.